#i love you olivia but you really piss me off FUCK

[tinylittlecubby]

In this moment taking the exam i feel like shit and I want to sleep for 72 hours. I will update after exam. My goal: answer all of the multiple choice questions and leave asap

Edit 1: I should've I should've I should've I should've I should've. But also abi had to transfer because of fail son behaviour soooooooo

Edit 2: FFUUUCCKKK THERE ARE NO MULTIPLE CHOICE QUESTIONS FUCK

Edit 3: Okay i am definetely having this be my last lie and saying that the test was closed book because fuck

Edit 4: Okay I reeeaallllyyy need to talk in therapy with my occupational therapist about my hangups with education because this test is not that bad and i should be able to answer all of these questions and i WOULD be able to if I did the work appropriately and didnt fuck around because of a fear of having panic attacks(????? i genuinely do not know what it is like is educational trauma really a thing i have no clue)))) at least ive seen the full test now and know what to expect the next time i take it but damn yea this has been eye opening and im happy that i showed up and answered some of the questions and the fact that it was open book like i wouldve bodied this exam if i studied for it and handed in all of my assignments as well like FUCK!!!!! whatever whatever whatever like not whatever as in im not going to take it seriously but like whatever in the sense that what is done is done (the teacher even gave today to be the last day to hand in assignments and if i knew that much much earlier i wouldve definetely done that but no i didnt email the teacher or anything i just dropped everything out of my hands as usual) i guess fucking 4th time is the charm but i cant be hanging out with v as much as i do anymore and i need to be out of the house to get work done and that fucking guy needs to leave me alone at school and i need to be focused and go to every class and harass the teachers and study study study study and manage time better and get a proper amount of sleep every single night and never cram and TIME MANAGEMENT FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GAWD.

Edit 5: Okay so after some googling to waste time during this exam i have learned that the learning process is usually emotionally and mentally painful and that is normal. i also reinforced my hatred for late diagnosed adhd people and gifted kids, how are there so many gifted kids, if everyone is gifted no one is????????

Edit 6: Im so sleepy i feel like im going to pass out i cant wait until 7:30pm FUCK

[raribella]

Love is Embarrassing | JJ Maybank

summary: although JJ had promised your brother he wouldn’t ever hurt you, you saw him kissing Kie while you were on a break.

pairing: JJ Maybank x Routledge!reader

genre: emotionally heavy anst, fluff in the end

contains: reader being a real bitch, mentions of Luke and parental abuse, inspired by some songs in the album “GUTS” by Olivia Rodrigo, kinda shitty ending but let me know.

word count: 2,7k

author’s note: alright I know I’ve been MIA and a bitch and I haven’t posted anything in months (worse if you see how much stuff is on my “upcoming works” section), but I’ve just had a lot of ideas, little time and little confidence to write. one of my best friends just showed me obx and I’m in love with this blonde and I got (I think) a spoiler about him and Kie and I just had to do something with my feelings.

This is a work of fiction. I do not own the characters of Outer Banks nor any characteristic of the show. I am writing this story solely for my own entertainment and the marvel or comfort of any readers.

“If I fuck up with her that might as well be the last thing I do in my life, John B! I mean it!”

the words that JJ heatedly uttered to your twin brother the day he found out about the two of you were repeating over and over in your head right now. You remembered it all too well; John B was seething, absolutely pissed, seeing red. You and JJ Maybank knew each other for as long as he and your brother were best friends, when you turned 14, he declared to all the Pogues that you were off limits, and about two months ago, you and JJ started seeing each other. One month into it and JB discovered you, which was easy considering JJ already spent most of his time with both of you at the Chateau. JJ promised his best friend that he wouldn’t fuck up with you because two things mattered the most for him in this life; their friendship, and yourself.

But as of lately, he was having some problems with Luke and he asked for some time “out” so he could figure his shit out without involving or hurting you and you disagreed but you’d do pretty much anything in this world for this man so you decided to say yes.

To his bullshit.

Bullshit, you figured out about half an hour ago, when you heard a confusing conversation between him and Kiara – the perfect one – and when you went outside to track the noise, you saw them kissing.

You were fifteen minutes late to leave for the weekly kegger and you forced yourself to lock yourself in the bathroom and call in sick – because that you were, and you wouldn’t handle being out partying and pretending like seeing the kooks, and seeing them two wouldn’t make you feel the same type of nausea at this moment.

Sarah was the third person to try and make you get out of the bathroom. The first being your brother and the second, Pope. Although you were thankful neither JJ nor Kie had tried to talk to you, when you heard your best friend’s voice, you were actually starting to feel sick, you were having a migraine from holding tears up, and you were sweating.

“Y/n, come on! You were so excited to come not even an hour ago, we’re already late and I don’t see why wouldn’t you want to come”

Your vision was blurry as you palmed the door and laid your forehead on it. Sarah realized that you really weren’t coming when she heard your voice crack.

“Sarah please, just, go on out without me this one time, I need not to be there right now and I also need to be alone please don’t ask me questions I can’t handle to answer you this moment I promise-“

As you rambled, she frowned from the other side of the door. Making sure to get everyone to leave for the Kegger, to try and remember asking you about this later on, and to reassure John B that you were actually okay.

You’ve been successfully avoiding JJ for about two weeks now. It started with enough discretion, allegedly going to the bathroom every time he entered a room, or offering everyone any snacks you would spend too much time preparing in the kitchen. For him, it started getting obvious when you looked the other way when he looked at you at the beach, or when you refused to surf and, as of recently, started slamming the doors on him. JJ was getting pissed at this rate. He started by simply frowning and brushing it off, but you couldn’t just keep slamming doors and not even looking at him, and if everyone else noticed, they just wouldn’t budge! The worst part is that he didn’t know what had happened nor if he could fix it. You understood him when he told you he needed time to figure out some stuff with Luke, but the truth was he was still very much freaked out about that. He still loved you, and he couldn’t afford to see you like this anymore, especially when such behavior was being directed at him. JJ missed you. Even if he couldn’t really figure his shit out, he missed you screaming at the top of your lungs as you entered the sea, he missed your smile, your laidback grin that he was the only receiver of, he missed your colorful bikinis, and how they embraced your features as you would jump onto every wooden swing near the shore, your curly hair flying everywhere filled with salt spray. He just missed you, the real you. And he had to talk to you to see if there was even a chance that he could get you back.

You, on the other hand, kept avoiding the questioning looks the pogues would send you every time you were harsh or avoidant at JJ, your brother even attempted to talk to you, silently, just with glances, and figure out if his best friend had hurt you. But even if he did, it only hurt because you loved him too much, and you decided it was best to protect him from John B’s wrath. You felt embarrassed whenever Kiara questioned you with her eyes as well; you felt embarrassed to be near her. You kept crucifying yourself and both her and JJ because of everything, often zoning out of the conversation and just bitterly reminiscing about the times you consoled your boyfriend as he cried late at night in your room, being gentle with his bruises. – thinking how could you be so stupid? giving up everything, betting on him against your brother’s better judgment. You kept paying attention to Kie and how, since that day, she looked like the sweetest thing of the Cut, the fucking hell-side of the island. Her perfume lingered in the air even at the beach and made you feel sick; you saw her everywhere now, even when you looked at him. You saw the scene of them kissing. Feeling every word she would utter toward you in conversation like bullets on your skin. As it was torture how she was the greatest thing to ever exist – how everyone loved her, how she was so much better than you; poisoning everything that you do and still being the sweetest friend, making you despise how rotten your mind was; how jealous your eyes were.

You were bottled up to the brim.

It started out simple enough. JJ had noticed everyone was doing their own thing at the Chateau; John B was absent for the time being, and you were alone on the couch, fidgeting, focused on whatever. It seemed like the perfect window to try and have an actual conversation about what’s been happening. He just didn’t expect it all to escalate so quickly. He didn’t expect you to have seen a part of his conversation with Kiara about his dad – but not everything, not the ending. – He hadn’t expected a conversation with you of all people to become a bomb with a short fuse that would explode into feelings tainted crimson. watching you bleed, making him bleed all over for you.

"Pogues don't mack on pogues, y/n! this shit freaked me out, your brother finding out freaked me out, yeah, even if he’s my best friend and I was afraid that-”

“Oh, so you go ‘round and fucking get with Kiara?! this is fucking bullshit, JJ! bullshit-

“Y/n, listen to me!”

You both were screaming, Kie’s eyes went wide as she tried calling your name as well but you had already started crying and couldn’t pay attention to anyone but him. At this point, as John B arrived at the Chateau and followed the noise, the people around you calming you down couldn’t be sure if they were afraid of his arrival or actually relieved. You kept interrupting each other. JJ pulled his hair and you pointed at yourself and to your side – as if Kiara was still there – strength marking red fingertips above your chest.

“‘Cause she’s not even a real pogue, right?! that’s why you got so confident about it, huh?”

it was almost as if the room went silent. Kiara decided to step outside to give you space; to take a moment to breathe in and take notice that you didn’t mean that. She was sure you didn’t. The rest of the group started to move aside as well although they could obviously still hear the commotion. Only you, John B, and JJ were in the living room. Your brother grabbed your shoulders from behind trying to ground you in any way he could, JJ growing nervous at the rate of the conversation and his friend’s presence.

You looked into his eyes and it was as if the blue in them was slowly fading, his eyebrows shot up and his mouth twisted in a clearly upset frown. As tears stained your cheeks, pride still overpowering your shame and feelings pent up, you started with more meaningless empty jabs, which, said angrily enough, would only make JJ bleed more as he fell silent himself.

“I really loved you, you know? You gotta laugh at the stupidity.. right? Come on you were going around doing that shit and I swear JJ I used to think was really smart… I was just a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked-up little thrill for you, tho… best friend’s little twin… ridiculous.”

At that, John B diverted his attention toward his friend with stern questioning eyes. JJ gulped.

“Look, man I just really need to talk to her and explain myself, ‘aight? I didn’t do what- Things are really not what they seem right now and I need her to-“

“Fuck, JJ, that’s bullshit! How can you not even flinch when you fucking lie like that! Things are just like what they seem you never even fucking loved me! You can’t love anyone, ‘cause that would mean you had a heart, right? But you’re a fucking Maybank! And I really tried to help you out all this time but now I know that I can’t!”

You were calming down, but exploded again, as the words left your mouth though, you started regretting them, the most deeply someone could ever regret anything maybe, worsening by the second as you saw the man you still loved muttering a small “no”, cracking at your words and shedding a tear. As Kiara heard what you said from the outside, she didn’t even think before bursting into the house again, turning every head in her direction.

“Y/n you’re spiraling and you’re saying things you’ll fucking regret! I kissed him, alright?! This is my fault. He stopped me, he loves you and he wouldn’t do that, okay?”

Though the words she was muttering were calming you down, she was calling you out, she was absolutely mad at what you said about JJ’s father because she had context and it was really fucked up. You felt small.

“Kiss?!” John B asked, his eyebrows shooting up. It wasn’t his intention to aggravate the situation but it was his little sister involved. JJ tried to start talking and explain the situation – which Kiara had left him to, but he could really only think about one thing.

“I- uh… did you mean it? What you said.”

JJ rarely expressed any sign of vulnerability, so as his voice broke, you felt like your heart did too, rushing to explain yourself now, and trying to get closer to him.

“I didn’t mean it, J, I really didn’t! God, I don’t even know how you can still even look at me right now I’m so sorry I was just so fucking broken at the idea of you che- of losing you, and I- I thought you had found someone else and I damn near started world war III right now and it’s just because I love you so much and I know you don’t deserve another fucked up demonstration of love, you deserve to feel so good, Jay, and I’m really sorry, I love you so so much, and I will understand if you never-“

You were interrupted by the shock of his own body against yours. The both of you were panting, crying, completely tired sighs leaving each mouth as if this was all going on for days and you were so hurt, yet needing each other so much. John B and Kiara were ‘okay’ enough with the newfound situation to leave you both to your own devices again, and you just clung to one another, sitting on the floor for what felt like hours until he decided to speak again.

“Y/n… I asked for us to take some time because it was becoming too real, y’know? What we felt for each other.. it was, touchable- it is. And when everyone else found out, and then John B… You know I don’t talk about this usually, not with anyone but you, but I didn’t want my dad to find out about us, to find out about you. I don’t want him knowing what you are for me I don’t want him knowing that laying a single finger on you can be worse than any punch he could throw my way. And I wanted to figure this out without you knowing about it because you’d say it’s fine, and I-“

As your mind processes his words, you start to think how in the world you got a man whose the first concern about a monster of a father would be you. How could you deserve it, especially after what you had insinuated about him. “It is! It’s fine, honey, we can-“

“No, y/n it’s not fine because I don’t ever want you to even worry your pretty little head about a situation like that, y’know? And It’s not fine because the pogues are my family and the love I feel for you, if anything would happen to you because of him I’ll be damned, damned, and in jail for murder, you can trust me I will.”

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. All you could do was keep the hold you had on each other, slightly caressing his head.

“Since I didn’t want you to know about it, I went to Kie, that night of the Kegger, and she tried to help me and she said she loved me and I did too but then she kissed me and I assume it’s what you saw but I did step back, I promise! I told her off… Y/n I told your brother that if I intentionally hurt you, if I fucked up with you like this then that might as well be the last thing I did in my life and I mean it. I love you so much, little Routledge, and I’m all in now. We can figure shit out as we go but as long as we have each other, okay?”

As JJ spoke, he held your hands, reassuring you at the end. Hours had passed ever since you started talking, so when the pogues felt everything was calmer they decided to go back in the house slowly – figure out how you were, what were the plans for the night.

“Do you really forgive me for what I said? I will understand, J, I’m so, so sorry, I love you so much” You touched your forehead with his, and JJ sighed, shaking his head slightly. “I love you. I love you, y/n… can’t be without you.”

And as you both kissed each other as if you were making up for ages lost, Sarah smiled at the corner of the room, John B interrupting the show. “Come on with the PDA, love birds… What are we doing tonight, then?” He half-heartedly scolded as you got up, hand glued to the blonde's. You let out a big sigh again, before brushing them off with an honest, but half-assed excuse, already making the way to your room.

“I mean, you could go to Heyward’s… I think we’ll just lie down a bit.. ‘twas kinda draining…” you saw a bunch of side smiles as the group left through the door, Sarah grinned, letting out a puff of air through her nose, and when Pope went to close the door, he screamed back in the direction of your room, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” which earned a scream back from an already lying down JJ, “might as well not do anything!” and for the first time in a while, you laughed, making your way to lie on top of him, his embrace being all you needed.

“You know… we could go out to surf tomorrow,” he offered, still missing the sight of a happy you, your bikini, and the ocean.

“First thing in the morning.” You answered.

[strawbvrriluv]

Yours Forever

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢꜱ: ᴊᴀᴄᴏʙ ᴇʟᴏʀᴅɪ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: ɪᴅᴋ

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ɪɴ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴊᴀᴄᴏʙ ᴇʟᴏʀᴅɪ ʜᴀꜱ ᴀ ꜱᴇᴄʀᴇᴛ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱʜɪᴘ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜɪɴᴋꜱ ʜᴇ’ꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪꜱ ᴇx ꜱᴛɪʟʟ.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ᴊᴇᴀʟᴏᴜꜱʟʏ, ᴀɴɢᴇʀ, ꜱᴍᴜᴛ , ᴏʀᴀʟ ʀᴇᴠɪᴠɪɴɢ, ꜰɪɴɢᴇʀɪɴɢ , ꜱᴇx

꧁༺ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ༻꧂

I scrolled through instagram waiting for jacob to get home from set as a post caught my attention.

Jacob_Updates

Jacob_Updates Jacob caught hanging out with Olivia Jade after months of not being seen together. It seems like they’re going strong as ever.

User1235: They’re so cute together

Jacobfans13: I hate her it should be me instead

I furrowed my brows looking at the photo, why was Jacob hanging out with his ex. Why didn’t he tell me about this. I could feel my heart starting to break, I heard our shared apartment door open as Jacob came into the house.

“Hey baby I’m home”

He called out his accent heavy as ever as he walked into the bedroom smiling at me. He put down his bag on the desk chair. He walked over and bent down kissing my forehead. I could smell his cologne on him, he sat down on the bed looking at me. He knew we way too well, he could tell something was upsetting me.

“What’s wrong love?”

His hand move to caress my cheek looking at me with furrowed brows still smiling a bit.

“Jacob why were you with Olivia.”

My voice was soft as Jacob’s smile fell. He paused just staring at me for a second. He then looked down at my phone, it was the photo’s paparazzi took of him and Olivia. He sighed moved away from me running his hands through his hair.

“Really? We were just hanging out as friends. Why are you so jealous of her Y/n.”

I scoffed shaking my head looking at my boyfriend as I stood up. Me jealous of his ex? How could he say this. After everything, of course he’d pick her over me.

I was tired of this.

Tired of him.

I was tired of being nobody to him in the spotlight while his ex got all of his attention.

I went into my closet grabbing a suitcase out as I threw it to the ground before going back throwing my clothes with hangers on it into the suitcase

I could feel his eyes on me as he started chuckling.

He was angry.

“Really? Are you fucking kidding me Y/n. You’re leaving. You’re fucking leaving? Just like that?! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Jacob said yelling at me as I flipped him off not looking at him, my h/l h/c falling over my face as I bent down continuing.

“Go FUCK yourself Jacob. FUCKING GO. I FUCKING HATE YOU.”

I yelled as I heard him walk up to me as he pulled me to my up to face him. I was y/h and he was 6’5 so he was practically leaning over me. I looked at him with anger and disgust.

“You’re not leaving. Okay I’m sorry I should have told you. But we didn’t do anything-“

“You had your fucking arm around her Jacob. Don’t fucking lie to me.”

I pushed him away tears forming in my eyes. I would have never thought Jacob would cheat on me.

Yet then again, there was always that pit in my stomach whenever he left the house. He was always surrounded by people who wanted him, craved him.

Jacob looked at me before looking away.

He backed away and sat on the edge of the bed putting his face into his hands. I could see he was crying. His sobs escaping his lips.

Why was he fucking crying?

I walked up to him my legs seeming to move on their own as I moved in between his legs hugging him. I hated seeing him cry, and he knew that maybe he was doing it on purpose. Yet right now I didn’t matter. He wrapped his arms around my legs his face buried into my stomach.

“Y/n. I fucking love you. I love you so much. I would never. Never cheat on you. I swear. I did that to piss paparazzi off, I never meant to hurt you. I don’t love her. I love you. You take my every waking moment and even sleeping moments. There isn’t a second that goes by without me thinking about you. You’re my everything. I need you.”

He finally looked up at me tears coating his cheeks, I looked down at him. Even when I was pissed off at him I couldn’t help but feel my heart beat faster just from him looking at me.

He was so beautiful. So mesmerizing

“I just don’t know why you wouldn’t tell me Jacob. You had every chance too. Yet I had to find out on social media.”

He looked back down biting his lip softly as he sighed.

“I was scared.. If you found out we hung out to talk you’d freak out and- and leave me.. I wasn’t thinking straight… ”

His voice was soft, he was so gentle. I looked up to the ceiling not knowing what to believe.

I loved him..

I felt small wet kisses down my stomach. I hitched my breath as Jacob smiled against my lower stomach. I looked down at him my eyebrows furrowing.

“Jacob right now isn’t the time.”

I gripped his hair softly making him look up at me with his puppy brown eyes.

I could stare at them for hours.

“I want to make you feel good. I want to apologize in the way I know best. Please let me beautiful.”

I bit my lip looking down debating if I should. Apart of me wanted to but what if he really did cheat on me? I would be making a fool out of myself.. But then again.

I would always make a fool out of myself for him.

I nodded my head as Jacob sighed holding my hips, “I need a verbal yes baby”. I sallowed looking away my cheeks burning burning with blush.

“Yes.”

Just like that Jacob stood up turning us and pushed me down on the bed, his kissed my neck all the way down to the hem of my shorts. I looked at him as he pulled my shorts down.

“Oh fuck you’re wearing my favorite.”

He kissed the top of my underwear, I was wearing a lacy pink thong that had a small white bow at the top of the panties on the front side. He kissed my clothed center softly as I huffed.

“Needy are we?”

Jacob chuckled before moving the panties to the side and licking my folds. I leaned my head back into the mattress, he kissed my clit softly. I moved my hand down to grip on his hair as he hummed agaisnt me liking the feeling of it.

He sucked on me his tongue exploring the inside of me as I whined at the feeling. My body felt like it was on fire, I needed him so badly. Every fiber of my body craved for his touch.

“Jacob”

I moaned as he stopped and looked at me, his puppy brown eyes not dark filled with lust.

“That’s not my name and you know that.”

His glare could burn holes into you as I sighed, I didn’t want to play these games with him right now I needed him.

“Please I need you. I need you so badly please.”

I begged softly as he smirked entering one finger in me as I gasped my head falling back just from that. He curled his finger before adding another one. I moaned out profanity’s as he continued curling his fingers in and out of me at a higher speed.

“I need you inside me”

I managed to say over the pleasure as he stopped, he took my fingers out and licked them making eye contact with me.

“You taste so good beautiful”

With that he took his jeans and underwear off his member flew to his stomach hard, the tip was red with pre-cum leaking out of it already. I bit my lip wanting nothing more than him in me.

“You wanna use a-“

“No”

I said quickly, as he chuckled getting on the bed on top of me. He planted a quick kiss on my forehead as he opened my thighs more putting them over his shoulder as he entered me.

I gasped holding onto the bedsheets next to me, he was so big. He stretched me out just from the tip, Jacob moved until he was all inside of me and waited for me to get used to his size. I could tell he was struggling to not move, the way he bit his lip and the grip on my thighs.

“You can move”

As soon as I said those words he began moving back and forth. I moaned louder my voice muffled by his hand on my neck. I could feel myself unraveling under him, my thoughts fading away the only thing I could think about was him.

He started picking up the speed as he kissed my ankle, the hand that was on my neck flew down to my stomach as he pressed on it.

“Mmm I can feel myself fucking you so good.”

Jacob moaned as I gasped my breath getting heavier as I began to get closer to my high. His thumb moved down and began rubbing circles on my clit causing me to cry out in moans.

“I-Im so close”

I muttered as Jacob watched my face, he loved watching me become undone under him. He got off on seeing me finish because of him.

“Go ahead baby I’m right behind you”

I arched my back closing my eyes as I came under him, my body trembling under him as I cried out the pleasure becoming too much. Right after me he moaned out cursing his body trembling a bit too as I felt his hot liquids shot into me.

“Oh fuck princess you’re so good to me”

He said softly riding out his high, he bent down and kissed me as he pulled out. Jacob moved and looked at my cunt biting his lip.

“I love seeing you filled up with my cum baby”

He kissed my inner thigh before standing up and grabbing a towel to clean me up with. He cleaned me up as he laid besides me cuddling me.

“I love you Y/n L/n. Forever and ever.”

I smiled holding him closely as I fell asleep in his arms. Little did I know when I fell asleep Jacob did something that would change both of our lives.

jacobelordi

jacobelordi I love you forever. ❤️ @y/nusername

Comments Turned Off

[seeingivy]

better than revenge

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting fic

previous part linked here

an: this is 11k and tweets on tweets. buckle in. if you find the typo in the tweets shut up

songs mentioned: see you again by tyler the creator ft. kali uchis, end game by taylor swift, and vampire by olivia rodrigo

--

The following morning, the buzzing energy in the townhouse is almost palpable. Not only because you’ve finally completed the set and the last four people have arrived – Erwin, Bertholdt, Ymir, and Historia – but it seems that your intense energy from the night prior seemed to have transferred over to everyone else. 

You’re almost too embarrassed to walk downstairs to the frantic chatter – that coupled with the fact that you’ve heard Connie name drop you almost four times – and it seems that Eren seems to be feeling the same when you walk out into the hallway to find him awkwardly lingering by his  door. 

“Hey.” 

Eren looks up, thrown out of his spiral of thoughts, as he gives you a smile and then looks down at your lip. It’s a little sore, the tiniest bit swollen from the tattoos that you got yesterday, and you can see that his is the same. 

“Hi princess. How’s your lip?” Eren asks. 

“Good. I guess I should be thankful that your name is only four letters and not nine letters like Bertholdt or something.” 

Eren smiles. 

“Let’s see it then.” Eren responds. 

You oblige his request, pulling down to show him the inner of your lip and watch as he smiles at the little ink. He follows suit after, making a rather dramatic display of crouching down to your height before pulling his own lip and showing you his. 

“You know, life really does imitate art. Because now, my name really will be forever on your lips.” you respond. 

“I sure hope not. You’d be slashing my head off sometime in the near future if that were true.” 

You smile. 

“You know, that doesn’t sound that bad to me.” 

“But you have to kiss me after. You know, if it were up to me, I think life should imitate art. Like at least ten times, for scientific purposes.” Eren responds, shrugging as he gestures for you to follow him. 

You shake your head, inexplicably unable to respond to the harmless flirting this time around, as you gesture for him to join you downstairs. The two of you walk in tandem down the steps, sparing each other one last smile, before you get hounded by the likes of Connie and Jean. 

And surely enough, the second you make it down to the kitchen and the dining table at the side, you’re met with the sight of Connie air-playing fan edits on the TV screen for everyone to watch. 

You and Eren take the spot behind Connie on the couch, and Eren smacks him on the backside of his head, before you two watch the edit. It’s of Eren singing Glimpse of Us in the background, except the video’s edited to be showing videos of him and Hyla, before juxtaposing them with videos of him and you. 

“Speak of the fucking devils. Don’t tell me you actually got matching lip tattoos? I’m half convinced you assholes are just lying to piss me off at this point.” Connie asks. 

The two of you look over and grin at each other. 

“Why are you watching fancams of us on the TV?” you ask. 

“Edit accounts are a form of art. Look at this one.” Connie responds, sliding to the next video on his phone. 

This one is in a similar vein, videos of you and Eren from the red carpet to the backdrop of you singing Style. You’re not sure what it is, but the video fills you with an insurmountable amount of joy, especially when Connie scrolls up the comments – most of them being about how people can’t stand how Eren seems to look at you. 

“Connie. Why have you watched this entire YouTube video?” Eren asks, pointing to the little thumbnail at the side. 

You follow the line of vision to where he’s pointing to an hour long video, entitled “eren and y/n creating love for an hour straight.” 

“There’s no way you watched that entire thing.” you respond. 

“Watched it? Bitch, I recorded half of those videos for Y/N-Jaegers back in the day. Please put some respect on my name.” Connie sneers, as he leans forward to put the video on. 

You turn to Eren, as the gears start turning in your head. You can tell that he’s following your lead – in fact, thinking the same exact thing as you – as you discuss it over. 

“I mean, kind of makes sense. S’how we did it the first time.” Eren responds. 

“I’d argue that it’s almost poetic to do it the same way. Plus, the resurgence of Y/N-Jaegers would be crazy, just for PR sake.” 

“I agree.” 

Eren reaches forward, yanking on Connie’s ear to catch his attention. He leans back, before swatting Eren off, and standing to face the two of you. 

“Do you have your phone, Connie?” Eren asks. 

“Yeah.” Connie responds. 

“Then, use it.” Eren responds. 

You give him a grin, waiting for Connie – who albeit, in his confusion lifts his phone – before you both pull down your lips and show off your new tattoos. You watch as Connie’s eyes nearly boggle out of head as he moves closer to the two of you, his excited voice filling the entire room as the group of them all start huddling around you. 

Mai and Mikasa look positively appalled, quietly whispering about how painful that must have been, while Reiner and Sasha break out into their own side tangent about how oppressive lip tattoos must be since they limit your food options so greatly. 

You and Eren laugh as you shuffle back into the kitchen, leaving the group of them to their devices as Connie uploads the video, and the two of you reach for the yogurt in the fridge. The piping hot, spicy ramen seemed like it was just going to burn your entire lip off, so you decided against that for today. 

You lean forward to read the little schedule on the fridge, though the filming is considerably light for the week. Considering the fact that almost everyone was here now, or arriving within the next hour, you were going into serious rehearsals for the ensemble showcase that you had planned. Though you were really only in it for one verse. 

Wednesday, March 27th, 10:00 

Eren and Y/N - REDACTED #1 

You frown. 

“What the hell is redacted number one?” 

Eren spins to the side, crouching down so his chin is just hovering over your shoulder. And the fact that he lowers his voice, to the gravelly octave, makes the hair on your arms stand up on its ends. 

“Levi not talk to you about this yet?” 

“No. We’re too busy talking about award show stuff. You know how he loves to lecture.” 

Eren looks over at you, his eyes borderline smoldering, as you can’t help but look away. It was getting harder and harder to look at Eren after your godforsaken realization last night.  

“From what I hear, what they’re lecturing you about is actually very valid.” Eren responds. 

You scoff. 

“You know, they’re so annoying. I’d appreciate it if they kept my conversations with them as private as they keep their conversations with you.” you respond. 

“Well, they were actually trying to get me to convince you to not use your triple threat performance on me. Not when you’re already performing twice that day, with me at the centerpoint.” Eren responds. 

When you had first pitched your idea for the awards show to them – and humbly begged them to give their ensemble showcase moment up to include the Jujutsu Kaisen cast – you had let them know that your intentions were from the get go. 

And when Eren had created the perfect segway for them with the song requests, Hange had slipped theirs in a week prior with maybe the most difficult request that you had been given yet. 

write a song about danny and sareen 

And even more than just writing it, Hange had made it very clear that they were expecting you to sing it at the award’s show at the end when you finally got to do your triple threat performance. That you couldn’t sing another song about Eren, when winning that award, was always going to be about them. 

Hange’s more theatrical than Levi. Because Levi just gave you the cue card that they have read off of that night, that had your name on it. But Hange had gone the full ten miles and given you the little trophy that you never even got to hold, with the note that came attached from the Institute. 

You can still see it now in the dull, gold looping. 

Dear Y/N, Danny, and Sareen,  Congratulations on your accomplishment! Included in the box is the trophy and a golden glass case to display it in. Please call the offices on Glass Avenue to discuss timings for interviews and your performance at one of our four award shows next year.  Best,  The Institute 

And annoyingly enough – despite the fact that it was your name on the trophy, their names were inscribed on the box. 

It was enough to irritate you into writing the song that Hange wanted you to sing. And at this point, you were itching to give them a run for their money too. 

“They didn’t need you to convince me. I gave in eventually.” you respond. 

Eren shrugs, before dipping his own spoon into your yogurt. Eren had instinctively given up the last strawberry one because it’s your favorite, but clearly, wasn’t very attached to his decision.  

“I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to make it about Danny and Sareen in the first place.” Eren responds. 

You shrug, leaning against the back of the fridge. The metal is cold on your back, as you let the freezing cold yogurt soothe the burning in your mouth. 

“Well, I only came back here for Marco. Because he won’t ever get to act again. Then when I started to do this, I was only doing it for you – because you did it for me first.” you respond. 

“And now?” 

“I thought back to what Historia had said to me, when she finally dragged me out of that house the first time. She had brought up Hange’s speech, the one way back when that made me even interested in acting in the first place. About showing the real you and all that.” you respond. 

“And?” Eren asks. 

“Well, Hange brought that up to me, when I originally said I wanted the third song to be about you. Not that you’re not important to me, but…being a triple threat was what I always wanted. And really at the core of it, I just wanted to be as unapologetic as  Hange was. I guess when they put it that way, it was almost stupid not to make the song about them when they’re the one who got to take the sanctity of that award away from me.” 

Eren smiles. And before he can respond, you’re tackled by two pairs of arms nearly strangling you around your neck, your line of vision telling you that Eren’s experiencing the same bombardment. Ymir and Bertholdt are shaking his entire frame and jumping at his side – and your ears don’t deceive you when you hear Historia and Erwin bellowing in your ear. 

You pull back, wrapping your hands around Historia’s face. 

“You crazy bitch. Don’t tell me you actually got a fucking tattoo again?” Historia asks. 

You grin, pulling down your lip to show the group of them. 

“Well, I’d be a fucking liar if I said that.” you respond. 

Erwin, in his theatrics, places a hand over his chest and the other one on the top of your head. 

“That’s my girl. Always had such a sound moral compass.” Erwin responds. 

You can’t help but wrap your arms around him as Erwin lifts his hand and gestures for Eren to join him at the other side. He still smells the same – the lingering scent of Old Spice deodorant and a very husky perfume. And when he pulls back, you can’t help but feel your heart squelch when he puts a hand on both of your cheeks and beams down at you two. 

“You’ve always been our little trail blazers, you two. I’m so proud of you two.” 

You turn to Eren and smile, before looking back at Erwin. 

“We’re proud of you too, Erwin!” Eren responds. 

You turn your head to the side, giving Eren a confused look. 

“Don’t flatter me, Eren. I’m not above crying in front of you children.” Erwin responds. 

“I’m offended you would even think that, Erwin. Don’t you know who I am?” Eren responds. 

You shake your head as you turn towards Ymir and Bertholdt at your side and leave Eren and Erwin to hype each other up for what was probably going to be the next thirty minutes at your side. You had already given up trying to understand Eren and Erwin’s relationship years prior. 

“Hey, kid.” Ymir says. 

“I’m older than you.” you respond. 

“Yeah, yeah whatever. I have someone I want you to meet.” Ymir responds. 

You follow her line of vision to the opening of the kitchen, to find someone lingering against the frame of the door. There’s a girl standing there, with tan skin and a short pixie cut – nervously knitting her fingers together. She’s smiling at you, rather brightly, and you can't help but feel like you’ve met her before. 

“Y/N. This is Sofia, my fiance. Sofia, this is Y/N.” Ymir states, gesturing for the two of you to shake hands. 

You oblige, her hand warm and the shake firm, as you try to hide the shock in your face. With the rush of everything that was going on, the information that Mikasa had shared with you days prior had been floating around in the back of your mind but you were never able to ask Eren to put it to rest. 

And now there was another lingering question mark hanging. 

That Ymir had proposed to Historia, but that she said no. That she begged her and Historia couldn’t bring herself to do it. But even despite that, they were still sleeping on the same mattress when you came back for the first time, for Marco’s funeral. 

And now she’s engaged to someone else. 

“Hi Sofia. My name is Y/N. It’s really nice to meet you.” 

Her eyes light up as she squeezes your hand, which you now realize is still locked in with hers, as you look back up at her and smile. 

“It’s really nice to meet you too.” she responds. 

“You know, you look really familiar, but I can’t exactly place why.” you murmur. 

You look to your side to find Ymir grinning at Sofia, as Sofia can’t help but groan in response. 

“I told you she would remember you.” Ymir states. 

“That doesn’t count as remembering me! A lot of people can look familiar to people!” Sofia responds. 

You smile, rubbing your palms together, as you look at the two of them. The thought of Historia a few feet away talking to Jean and Mikasa has you sweating, nervously passing your eyes over just to make sure that she wasn’t watching the entire interaction go down. 

“Have I met you before?” you ask. 

Sofia sighs, the slightest pink tint in the apples of her cheeks. 

“This is so embarrassing. I met you and Eren a couple years back, at one of those conventions with the panels and stuff and –” 

The recognition is instant. 

“Oh my god! You were wearing a shirt with my face on it! With your sister, right?” you respond. 

“I fucking told you she would remember! She has really good memory.” Ymir responds, this time goading her on. 

You shake your head at Ymir, before placing your hands on both of her biceps and squeezing. 

“Sofia, wait. I really remember that because it actually meant the world to me at the time. I’m sure you…know about Scott Clarkson and all that mess and –” 

“I want that man dead and I’m so serious.” Sofia deadpans. 

You laugh. 

“You and me, both. But yeah, that day was actually the first time that Eren and I had ever met him in person. And the entire event in general was just so uncomfortable and left a weird taste in my mouth and you…you really made me feel like I was doing something important and I actually thought about it for a really long time.” you respond. 

Sofia smiles, before she reaches forward and wraps her arms around you. The embrace is overwhelmingly warm, as you eye Ymir behind her back, who's just shaking her head at her demeanor, almost insinuating that this was what she did all the time. 

“I’m really glad. I really meant what I said back then and I’ve always been a big supporter all this time. You’re really brave and courageous and –” Sofia stars. 

“Okay, Sof. Enough. You’re going to make poor Y/N’s head bigger than it already is.” Ymir groans, as you turn back to your side. 

“That’s really sweet of you. How is your sister?” you ask. 

You’re not sure what it is, but it’s almost like you’ve thrown ice on the little warmth that was pooling in the conversation. Because her face slightly droops and Ymir’s quick to put a hand on her shoulder in comfort. 

“Ah. She passed away a few years ago.” Sofia mumbles. 

“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up and –” 

She smiles, enough to give you the faintest glimpse of her dimples. They remind you of Eren. 

“That’s okay. That’s actually where I met Ymir. At the grief group.” she responds. 

“You went to a grief group?” you ask. 

“Well, not originally. I was there with a friend, a while before Marco died. Met her there. We were already dating when Marco passed away, but…we just figured it wasn’t the best idea for Sofia to come to the funeral with…you know. Historia.” Ymir responds. 

So why did she sleep with Historia on the mattress? 

“I’m glad you’re here with us now. It’s really nice to meet you. And I love weddings, if Ymir can humble herself enough to invite me to hers.” you respond. 

“Shut up, bitch. You’re so annoying.” Ymir responds. 

That’s what she says. But it sounds more like are you crazy? Of course, you’re invited. 

“Anyways, I hope you come to set later. Eren and I are going to be filming something if you want to watch.” 

“For sure. I’d love to see it.” Sofia responds. 

You look over your shoulder to find Levi, Hange, and Eren waiting near the edge of the kitchen island, gesturing for you to come over now that you’ve caught their attention. And as the four of you embark out towards the set, Levi explains what redacted scenes are to you. 

You spare Historia one last glance as you walk off the set and can’t help but feel a bitter taste in your mouth at the longing look she’s giving Ymir. 

--

--

“You know, this sounds an awful lot like method acting to me.” you murmur, spotting the sly grin on Levi’s face. 

“Eren told me not to call it that. He said you might strangle me. Or him. Or both of us combined.” 

“He would be right about that.” you respond. 

He’s leaning against the edge of the vanity, as the makeup team tasks themself with drying and prepping your hair to perfection, while Levi coaches you through what you now understand are the two redacted scenes that Levi has asked you and Eren to film. 

You just think it’s lazy script writing. Levi thinks you’re annoying for calling it that. 

With your combined permission of course, Levi has decided to let you method act through the two scenes that he originally had planned out. While he was allegedly entirely faithful in your ability to deliver lines, he wanted to see if what the two of you could produce out of real shock, in the moment as your characters, was something better than what he could write. 

Hence, the vague scene that you and Eren were going to be filming. To your understanding, the pair of them were each going to give you and Eren a set of prompts and you were just supposed to act your way through the scene based on what they told you to do. 

“Can I know my prompt then?” you ask. 

“You understand, right?” Levi clarifies. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m just supposed to go based on what you tell me.” 

Levi hops off of the counter, this time leaning closer so that you can actually make eye contact with him in your line of vision. 

“But really. I don’t care how badly you want to say something else. You…you have to go based on the direction that I tell you.” Levi responds. 

It’s almost annoying, the way he’s coddling you through the entire thing. 

“Okay, I get it. This is my entire job, you know?” you respond. 

Levi scoffs. 

“Fine. Eren’s going to ask you something. I want you to shoot him down.” Levi states. 

You lean your head to the side, much to the annoyance of the makeup artist, who moves your neck back into place. You shoot her an apologetic smile, before thinking back to Levi. 

“You want me to shoot him down?” you ask. 

“He’s going to ask you something. Or insinuate it – and no matter how badly you want to do whatever it is, you have to tell him no.” 

Levi gives you a curt nod before he walks back out to the set to put things in place, as you put the outfit resting on the hangar on. You reach up to mess with the little fringe of your bangs, pulling down the undershirt and the jacket as you prepare yourself for the scene. 

When you walk out on set, the group of them are all sitting on the sidelines, giving you excited smiles. You give Sofia a little wave at the front of the sidelines, returning the little finger hearts that Gabi and Falco point towards you as you reach for your cue. 

And when Levi calls action, the lights on the entire set dimming and the chatter breaking down to silence, you can feel your heart pounding in your chest as you see Eren at the top of the little landing, his back facing towards you. 

“Eren! Everyone has been looking everywhere for you!” 

At the sound of your voice, Eren lifts his hand to his face and sniffles, almost like he’s wiping away tears, before you stand at his side. He refuses to meet your eyes and now that you’re standing at his side, you’re not sure how you missed this before. 

They cut Eren’s hair. 

A small part of it – because it’s out of the usual man bun that he’s been sporting since you came back to set and instead loosely frames the sides of his face. 

It might be your favorite look yet. And all you can do is stare. 

He still refuses to meet your eye, withholding it from you. You follow his gaze to the bottom of the landing, to see the kid that Levi had introduced you to a week prior, who was going to play Ramzi in the script. You had yet to film the scene – since you’re almost positive that Levi was going out of order at this point to save time and note it. 

“The boy from the market? What happened?” you ask. 

“Nothing yet.” Eren responds. 

Eren’s voice has that same gravel, almost hollow, like he did the day that you filmed the table scene. It’s almost haunting when his voice sounds like that – so devoid of motion and strained that it makes your chest pang. 

You wonder if that’s what he sounded like in the years that you didn’t talk. 

“What do you mean? Wh-what is this place?” you ask. 

“After the war left them with no home, they all gathered here to live. They’re just like us.” 

Eren’s throat bobs at your side and you can feel his eyes clenching in your peripheral vision. 

“One day, their regular lives ended and everything was taken away from them. They were deprived of all of their freedoms.” Eren states. 

And almost in a split second, Eren finally averted his gaze from looking down and meets your eyes for the first time. You’re not sure what it is – surely something from the makeup team that’s making his eyes look fuller, rounder – but the eye contact is almost excruciating this time. Your first instinct is to turn away. 

“Y/N. Why do you care so much about me?” 

You can feel your cheeks burning. That was the last thing you were expecting him to say. 

“Huh?” you repeat. 

“Is it because I saved you when we were little? Or is it because I’m your family?” 

You swallow hard, the block in your throat stifling. It’s almost like you can’t even push air out of it, like you’re opening your mouth to try and nothing can make it past – enough to fill you with a panic like you won’t ever speak again. Because you have the faintest inkling of what’s going to come next…why Levi was so adamant on asking if you would be able to follow his instructions. 

“I-” 

“What am I to you?” Eren asks. 

Everything. 

It’s the first word that comes to mind when he asks. 

“Ev–” 

You pause, as you feel the sweat accumulating on the edge of your hairline, fighting the urge to reach up to wipe it off. Levi’s voice is excruciating in your head. 

He’s going to ask you something. Or insinuate it – and no matter how badly you want to do whatever it is, you have to tell him no.

It’s almost painful. Having to say it when it isn’t true. When in reality, you know that you’re acting and Eren knows that you’re acting too – that this is just part of your job. But to even strike him down in the fake way, after weeks of building it back together, seems cruel. 

You sigh, shutting your eyes and taking a deep breath, before you look back up at his eyes. The deep green is enough to accumulate the thinnest film of tears in your eyes. 

“You’re family, Eren.” 

And after you mutter it, it’s visceral…an almost physical reaction from Eren. Because you can see the way his breath hitches, the way he hesitantly steps back – quite literally physically recoiling. And the regret sits heavy in your chest and you have to drop your eyes – because you can’t even bear to look at him. 

“Cut!” Levi calls. 

It’s enough to snap you out of the heaviness, as you shake your head at the resounding amount of chatter that follows. You can still feel your heart racing as the makeup team is quick to rush to your side – quickly powdering the sweat that had accumulated on your cheek as they do the same with Eren – and you can hear Connie and Reiner mumbling about how brutal that was to watch on the side. 

You look back up at Eren, whose hollow look hasn’t left his eyes and you give him a halfhearted smile – which he doesn’t return. Instead, he turns back to Levi and Hange, who are murmuring over the shot in the viewfinder. 

“Did we get it?” Eren nearly shouts.

“We got it. You killed it guys.” Levi responds, still fixated on the shot. 

“Do you still need me or can I go?” Eren asks. 

“Eren–” 

“You’re good, Eren.” Hange responds. 

Eren’s almost too quick with it, the way he yanks the little mic pack off the little sleeve in his jacket and hands it to the crew. And with his long bean stalk legs, he’s disappeared from your side before you can barely even process that he was standing there in the first place. 

--

You can’t bring yourself to talk to Eren until two days later, on the eve of his birthday and two days before the award show. Not because you’re actively avoiding him, but it seems that he gets so wrapped up in quite literally everything else he has to attend to. Though really, it feels like that the slight air of comfort that you had was completely shattered by filming the scene together. 

There’s a quiet knock on Eren’s door. He’s preemptively pissed off…and the quiet irritation that had been festering in his chest for the last few days was about to come to a head on Connie and Lana, who refused to take a hint. 

He had made it infinitely clear that he wanted to spend the early hours of his birthday alone. That he would be fine and dandy to celebrate with everyone the day after, but he needed the time to process some things alone. 

The tension diffuses when he realizes that it’s you at the door. There’s an almost timid look on your face, as you balance a little white box in your hands, and peek your head past the closet. 

“Am I disturbing you?” 

“No, of course not. Come in.” Eren responds, patting flat on the comforter for you to join him at his side. 

You give him a smile as you set the little box down, crossing your legs over each other to sit at his side. You lock your hands into the pits of your knees as you turn over towards him, taking a second chance to admire that his hair is the slightest bit shorter. 

“I really love your hair, Eren.” you respond. 

There’s an immediate flush in the apples of his cheeks. He reaches up to it, nervously pushing a hand through the strands before he drops it all together. 

“Thank you. The length was starting to get really fucking annoying.” Eren responds. 

“I liked the man-bun but I think this type of thing really suits you.” you respond. 

Eren looks over at you and gives you a halfhearted smile. And that quiet ease returns, maybe faster than Eren would have liked. The quiet moment of hurt that he was holding on to was absolved the second you smiled at him. 

Eren can hear Connie’s voice in his head – calling him down horrendous. 

“What can I do you for?” Eren asks. 

“It’s almost your birthday.” you state. 

“Congratulations, Y/N. You know how to read a calendar!” 

You scoff, before lightly shoving him in his side. 

“Shut up. I wanted to do something for you.” you respond, before lightly pushing the box in front of him. 

Eren gives you a weary look, before he opens up the little box. It’s a frosted green and white cake – with four candles in it. It’s a strange arrangement since they’re all numbered candles, making the number 2,345. 

“I guess I stand corrected. You really don’t know how to read a calendar.” Eren responds. 

Eren turns to the side, with the most annoying look on his face, as he turns to you and grins. 

“Okay, Y/N. Repeat after me. The year is 2024.” 

“Shut up, asshole. I was trying to be sweet.” you grumble, as you hike your knees to your chest. 

Eren rolls his eyes. 

“What’s so sweet about getting the age wrong on my cake?” Eren asks. 

“It’s actually to make up for every birthday of yours that I missed, dumbass.” you respond. 

Eren can feel his heart pounding in his chest. 

“What?” Eren asks. 

You shrug, before reaching down to adjust the candles from pushing into each other. 

“The last birthday I got to spend with you was your twenty-second birthday. I can imagine that the years’ that followed weren't exactly pleasant…that…that they might have been a reminder of what happened on the beach.” you start. 

That was the understatement of the year. 

“And it’s my fault that I missed your birthday. So, I thought that…we could make them up now. Hence the candles for three and four, for your twenty-third and twenty-fourth birthday. And today’s your twenty-fifth…it’s the least that I could do.” you respond. 

Eren thinks it’s rather unfair that he always seems to be at a loss of words when he’s with you.  Instead of being able to spill out what was really racketing through his brain – that it was getting infinitely harder to swallow down his feelings, that this was almost melting the resolve that he had made with himself to let you make the first move – he opens up his arms instead. 

You oblige, leaning forward and resting your chin against his shoulder, as you feel Eren scoop his arms around your waist. It’s almost like he’s resting his entire body weight on you, because you can feel his face digging into the softness of your neck, as you absentmindedly reach up for his hair, feeling the edges that were just freshly cut. The faint scent of the hairdressing spray still lingers. 

He’s quiet for sometime, but it’s only fitting that when he does break the silence, it’s with something annoying. 

“A cake with no plates is crazy, Y/N.” Eren mumbles. 

You laugh, as you reach inside the box for the two forks you tucked inside the box. You hand him one, as he tucks the ends of his hair behind his ears, and looks up at you. 

“Game plan. You eat all the frosting and I’ll eat all the cake.” Eren states. 

“Huh?” 

“Okay, that’s a little selfish. But it’s my birthday. And I just really hate frosting.” 

The thought that comes to your mind is enough to startle you, just in the slightest. 

Eren really is your soulmate. 

It’s stupid. A stupid comparison to make when the person that you’re comparing him to is Ricky James of all people. But you can’t help but think about that stupid memory, from before the Met Gala. Ricky had bought you that stupid cupcake – and very irritatingly swiped the frosting off of your finger. 

And the two of you bickered because you both preferred the frosting as opposed to the actual cake. And naturally, Ricky was never going to be the type to give up his frosting for you. 

It was sweet that way, with Eren. And you’re sure that the thought of invisible strings and single threads of gold tying you to Eren are really only on your mind because that’s what you sang to him the last time you got to spend his birthday with him, but it almost seems too perfect. 

That Eren likes the cake, but you like the frosting. That you’d always finish the cake if you were eating it together. 

Unbeknownst to you of course, Eren is fully aware of the fact that you are overly fond of the frosting on the cake. And that you have no idea that he really hates eating the spongy cake part and prefers the frosting too. 

But he doesn’t like the frosting nearly enough to not even think twice before offering it to you. 

--

--

You only grace the red carpet for five minutes. You and Eren are above that at this point. But from what you were able to discern from Twitter backstage, after practicing your first set with Eren, it was eventful enough without you there. 

Sukuna splashed a glass of wine in Ricky’s already swollen eye from last week. Hyla tripped and fell when she got out of the limo. You and Eren spend a good amount of time reading through the stuff on your feed – and the perfectly timed blind items that you had submitted to every paparazzi company but the WBS were coming out just as you planned them. 

And surely enough, every single one of them was getting caught off guard when they were asked on the carpet – and couldn’t scramble a perfect PR response out. 

There were three blind items that were yours and the rest were strays. And you were fully intent on making sure that everyone, Danny and Sareen, knew that it was you who submitted them by the end of the night. 

First, that Ricky James had thrown an insanely murderous bitch fit at the front of the Institute Offices in New York when he found out that he had been replaced as the opening act, by Eren of all people. 

Which, according to your sources, was true. 

Second, that the producer for the critically acclaimed Ribbons album, Sareen Clarkson, had been cheating on her husband with industry plant John Stasny, who is twenty years her junior and had previously been linked to several famous actresses, like Historia Reiss. 

Which was also true. It had only been a few hours since it had been leaked, but the shit train that followed wasn't pretty.

If you were going to call her a fame fucker, you were going to make sure that everyone was going to understand the reference. 

And the third was that stupid magazine cover that Scott had mailed you and Eren. 

This was seemingly the last pillar that had to fall in taking down Scott Clarkson and his empire – or at least putting the tiniest bit of a dent in it. 

The only reason that the WBS was successful in the first place was the same reason that his label and movie company thrived the way they did – they were big enough to eliminate all the competition. 

But when it came to something like a tabloid, that centered around reporting on drama, it was almost natural to take them down in this way. If they were the only ones that lacked the information, then they’d be the only ones who would drop the ball on reporting it – and therefore, people would have to divert their attention away to someone else to get the information. 

The foundation seemed a bit bare, but you were already too far in to oppose it at this point. 

You feel a little tap on your shoulder and you turn around to find the two people who were going to be accompanying you for your first performance. 

The dopplegangers of you and Eren – from the Girlfriend and Because I Liked a Boy Performance. 

“Hi guys!” 

You reach forward and wrap your arms around both of them as they return the gesture and warmly hug back. Thankfully, they were more than happy to oblige with your second request – third for Penelope if you counted Girlfriend – to pretend to be you and Eren. 

You almost felt bad for marking this as their legacy so many times, but they were more than happy to oblige – citing the free food and the hefty paychecks as more than enough compensation. 

“Right, well. Eren, this is Penelope.” you state. 

“Yeah. Yeah, we’ve met before. Hi.” Eren responds, the look on his face so painstakingly awkward that you almost feel bad for the prank that you’re about to play on him. 

“And this is Scott.” you respond. 

It’s insanely bad timing, since you accidentally mention it while Eren’s taking a swig of his water bottle. And due to the shock, he consequently spits the entire contents back into the bottle and gives the three of you wide eyes. 

“Your name is fucking Scott?” 

“No, it’s Jason. Y/N paid me three bucks to say that.” he states. 

Eren looks at you, giving you a downright murderous glare, as he puts the water bottle down. 

“You bitch.” Eren grumbles

“It’s funny!” you respond. 

You shake him off as you turn back to Jason and Penelope and eye the little wardrobe rack on the side. 

“Okay. Hair and makeup is ready for you two whenever you are. And just remember, that if anyone asks you about the outfits –” 

“Mine is based on Selene, goddess of the moon.” Penelope states. 

“And mine is Poseidon, god of the sea.” Jason adds. 

You grin. The two of them give you a passing wave before they walk off to the other side of the stage and Eren makes a dramatic display of shuddering. 

“What?” 

“Don’t they like…freak you out?” Eren asks. 

“Why would they freak me out?” 

“They literally look like us! And they’re literally dating too which makes it even weirder!” 

You give him a weird look. 

“They aren’t dating.” you respond. 

Eren wraps his arm around your shoulder, before twisting you to the side of where their dressing rooms are – where the two of them are standing, kissing. 

“That looks really friendly to me.” Eren states, tone dripping with sarcasm. 

“What the hell?” 

“It’s weird!” Eren whispers. 

You shiver. 

“Ew. I don’t like that.” you respond. 

“Levi should hire them to do the kiss next week instead of us. Sure, they’ll enjoy it more than we will.” 

You can feel your cheeks burning. You know that it’s not what he meant – surely, that it couldn’t have been what he meant in the slightest but the sting still hits all the same. 

“Jesus. Didn’t realize you were so opposed to kissing me.” you mumble. 

Eren’s eyes go wide.

“I’m not opposed to kissing you!” 

“You just suggested that Levi and Hange should literally offer a salary to two people who kind of look like us just so you wouldn’t have to kiss me.” you deadpan. 

“No! I didn’t mean it like that!” 

“Well…don’t be weird about it! You don’t have to…want to kiss me. I know we’re just working and that it’s all like method acting or whatever. I’m not going to get offended if you don’t want to it’s just–”  

Eren looks agitated. If Sukuna was standing here, you know that he would have no self control and probably piss him off more by asking him if he needed to take a shit. 

“Y/N, just listen. I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable because I wrote a kiss into the script and told Levi and Hange that they can’t write it out this time.” Eren responds. 

And just as fast as his eyes go wide, his cheeks are bright pink this time as he suddenly busies himself with worrying about his costume to change the subject. 

It’s a hopeful thought and you’re clearly speaking faster than you’re thinking. Because it’s probably against your better judgment to assume that he wrote the kiss in just because he wanted to kiss you. 

You say it anyway. 

“You wrote the kiss into the script?” you ask, giving him a grin. 

“My costume seems like it’s going to be tight, right? It looks a little short at the legs? We should see if we can get this fixed in the next twenty minutes before we go on, so I don’t look like an idiot, you know?” 

You place a hand on his shoulder, to stop him from bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, and keep him standing on the ground. 

“You can relax. I was just messing with you. And your outfit looks fine, I think we should change now so we can make sure I don’t go swinging into the audience with the equipment.” 

Eren waits for you to finish changing before you walk over to the little makeshift hang-glider that you guys requested. He chooses to ignore commenting about how much he loves it when you wear red for the time being and focuses on making sure you don’t plummet to your imminent death from the moon you’re going to be hanging off of. 

Eren watches as you shuffle on the little seat, before he reaches around you and secures the little belt around your waist. You watch as he tightens it not only twice, but three times, before he reaches for your hand and secures the microphone around it next. 

“You know, I understand securing me to the moon but I think the microphone is a little much. I’m not going to go dropping it.” 

“I’m sorry for being overcautious. I’m not a big fan of…stints that include hanging in the air for so long.” Eren responds, as tightens the strap around your hand again. 

You pale. Of course he hates these type of things.

“No. No…I’m sorry. I totally forgot about that…I-I didn’t even realize that this might be really nerve wracking for you. We can take this part out if–” 

“No, no. I like the set design. How about you just promise to come back to me in one piece?” Eren asks. 

You sigh. 

“Of course.” 

And Eren gives you a gleaming, two dimpled smile in response, before he taps your side and walks over to his cue. As they send your little glider into the air, you can actually see the entire audience from the little break in the curtains at the top – and can spot a very annoyed Ricky James sitting front and center. 

With pink wine stains on his shirt. 

You look down at Eren, who looks up from his spot, and spares you one last thumbs up before the music stats. 

You have to give your props to Eren’s team for working out the set exactly as he wanted it. With the ocean on the left, you in the moon on the right, and Jason and Penelope doing their little slow dance on the beach in the middle. 

Eren:  You live in my dream state Relocate my fantasy I stay in reality You live in my dream state Any time I count sheep That's the only time we make up, make up You exist behind my eyelids, my eyelids Now I don't wanna wake up

Eren:  20-20, 20-20 vision Cupid hit me, cupid hit me with precision I wonder if you look both ways When you cross my mind (Yeah), I said, I said I'm sick of, sick of, sick of, sick of chasing You're the one that's always running through my daydream, I I can only see your face when I close my eyes

And surely enough, they lower you from your little vantage point behind the curtains to the bright flashing lights and the resounding cheers of the crowd – that are barely muffled out by your ear pieces – as you sing your part. 

Y/N:  Can I get a kiss? And can you make it last forever? I said I'm 'bout to go to war And I don't know if I'ma see you again

As Eren sings his second verse, they’re quick to lift the moon back up and off the stage in time for you to climb off – and for you and Eren to replace Jason and Penelope on the beach in the center. 

You and Eren hadn’t really practiced this part, though in hindsight it was simple enough. You just had to keep leaning in until they dimmed the lights – to make it look like you and Eren were going to kiss each other. 

Y/N:  Can I get a kiss? (Can I get a kiss?) And can you make it last forever? (Oh, forever) I said I'm 'bout to go to war (Go to war) I don't know if I'ma see you again (See you again) Can I get a kiss? (Can I) And can you make it last forever? (Can you) I said I'm 'bout to go to war ('Bout to) And I don't know if I'ma see you again

It’s excruciating to do it. To pretend – and in that second, you decide you’re going to kiss him anyways. Because he wraps his hand too perfectly around your neck to pull you closer and instinctively closes his eyes. 

And then it’s overwhelmingly embarrassing. Because the exact second you time moving forward is when Eren leans back, because they’ve pulled the curtains. And runs off to the side curtains, as you awkwardly stalk back. 

You try to swallow down that pit of shame in your throat as he turns back towards you, handing you an ice cold water bottle. 

“That was great! But was it really hot up there? Your face is all pink.” Eren asks. 

“Uh, yeah. I kind of had a panic up there.” 

Eren twists the cap off and instructs you to drink, biting cold enough to taper that burning heat in your cheeks, as he instinctively shakes his head. 

“I said come back in one piece.” 

“I am in one piece.” you grumble back, getting ready to go stalk off to your dressing room until you had to face him again four performances later. 

Eren doesn’t follow when you make it all the way to the little room, as you lean back in the chair and resort to massaging your temples. 

Too close. That was way too close. 

“Hey?” Eren asks. 

You can see Eren poking his head into your dressing room, bright green eyes curious as he looks down at you. 

“What?” you ask. 

“The answer is yes.” Eren responds. 

You glare, in irritation. 

“To what?” 

Eren bends down, pressing a kiss right into the thrumming pulse of your temple. 

“You asked me if you could get a kiss. Well really, you asked me seven times if you could get a kiss, but I’ll spare you the entire show.” Eren responds, tapping the frame of the door and giving you a bright smile before he steps back out. 

You sigh. The quiet moment of hurt that you were holding on to was absolved the second he smiled at you. And multiplied into the biggest, searing feeling in your chest when he kissed you. 

--

--

There’s seven people in your dressing room after the fact. And one of them is Satoru Gojo, who counted as an additional ten people, which is when you take the sign that it’s probably time to duck out of there. 

You had three options – Connie and Eren who were having way too much fun with your special props, a group that had both Historia and Ymir in it, or Sukuna – who was standing by himself in the corner. 

There was a very obvious choice. 

He gives you a noncommittal nod as you walk up to his side and link your arm in with his. He’s nursing a tiny glass in his hand, which he offers to you. You know him well enough by now to know that it’s going to be some taste buds descreating drink, but decide to drink anyway. 

And surely enough, it burns all the way down to your esophagus, making you physically recoil as you hand the glass back to him. 

“Jesus. I feel bad for your liver.” you respond. 

“I actually don’t drink that much anymore. My liver is just fine.” Sukuna responds. 

“There’s no way. That just destroyed like…a quarter of your lobule.” 

“What the fuck is a lobule?” 

“The functional unit of the liver!” you respond. 

If looks could kill, Sukuna would have murdered you then and there. It’s at that moment that Eren and Connie run up to you, Eren quickly placing his hands on your cheeks to angle your face up towards him and place the little crown on your head. 

“Très magnifique!” Eren murmurs. 

“Wow. Who taught you French, Ratatouille?” 

“Does that count as a self-diss? You taught me French, ma lune.” 

You lightly shove him in the side, as everyone reaches for their cues on the stage and you crawl to the revolving stage underneath with Eren and Sukuna. And surely enough, Levi and Gojo delivered well on their promise with their prop guy. 

He perfectly replicated that god forsaken throne Scott was sitting on in that stupid magazine cover. You snag the little crown Eren placed on your head off to admire the work on it – the gold handiwork. You place your hands in the middle and test the fragileness, noting that it takes little to crack the pieces – before you place it back on your head. 

“So, who was on the right? Eren or Lana?” you ask. 

“I was on the right.” Eren responds. 

The group of you flinch as the music starts blaring above and take it as a sign to stick your earpieces in. And right on timing with the chorus, you can hear the screaming get louder – which you’re positive is people just overreacting to the fact that Gojo’s the first person in the ensemble showcase when he shouldn’t even be in it in the first place – and tap your hands nervously on the handles. 

I wanna be your endgame I wanna be your first string I wanna be your A-Team (whoa-whoa, whoa) I wanna be your endgame, endgame

“Sukuna. There’s pins right there, there’s no way she’s not going to jostle the crown off before she hands it to Lana.” 

“Got it.” Sukuna responds, shuffling away as you look back up to Eren. 

He looks down at you, tucking your hair behind your ear, which has your heart pounding in your throat. 

“Pretty dress.” Eren whispers. 

You give him a shrug, before laying down the fringe at your sides. 

“Nice suit.” you respond. 

“Eh. It’s kind of digging into my neck.” Eren responds. 

You stand up, rocking back on your heels, as you turn to face him. You reach forward, reaching for the top buttons of his dress shirt and task yourself with unbuttoning them. 

“You know, you could at least take me on a date first.” Eren grumbles. 

You hum in response, giving him a smile, as you stop at the third button and reach forward to readjust the layers of his necklaces. His skin is soft and warm underneath your fingertips and it gives you an insanely inappropriate thought. 

“What are you thinking?” Eren murmurs. 

“Nothing.” 

“You’re thinking something naughty.” 

“Ew. You have such a disgusting choice of words, Eren.” you whine. 

“What was it?” 

“Nothing, Eren. I was thinking about how pale you are.” you respond, letting go of the chains and reaching back to sit in your little chair. 

Eren reaches forward, grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you back. He’s quick with his other hand, securing it around your waist and holding you steady against him. His lips hover right by your ear, the gravel of his whispering makes you nearly squirm. 

“What were you thinking?” Eren asks. 

“Nothing, Eren. Really.” 

“I’m not an idiot. I’ve seen that look in your eyes before…and I know what it means. What were you thinking?” Eren asks. 

You groan, squirming out of his embrace. 

Where the hell did Sukuna get lost? 

“I just thought about something that people would notice, that's all. But we don’t–” 

“What was it?” 

You groan, before tucking your hair behind your ears. 

“I’m wearing red lipstick. And that’s a fairly…exposed patch of skin. People would notice if I–” 

“If you kissed me. Alright, go ahead and do it then.” Eren responds, angling his neck closer to you.” 

“Eren.” 

“C’mon. It’s almost our turn. You have to be quick with it.” Eren responds, gesturing frantically with your hands. 

You awkwardly step forward, placing your hands on the sides before you pinch your eyes shut and press a lingering kiss to his neck. You can feel Eren lightly tilt his head back and inhale sharply the second you make contact – but you chose to ignore it. 

You pull back and examine the mark, though it’s rather faint. Eren clocks it fast enough, as he gestures with his hands again. 

“Another one won’t hurt. C’mon.” Eren whispers. 

“Okay, yeah.” you respond. 

You press your lips to his neck again, this time earning you Eren’s hand squeezing into your side – where it was resting at your waist – as you pull back and admire the mark. You look back up at him, feeling an itching sensation all over as you give him an awkward smile. 

“You guys are fucking insane, you know that?” Sukuna mutters. 

“Sukuna! Where the fuck did you go?” you respond, angrily snatching the little pins from his hands and securing them into your hair. 

You sit back down on the throne, as you hear the little countdown ringing in your ear, and prepare yourself to sing the last portion of the song. You can feel both of their hands on your shoulders – squeezing hard – as you lift the microphone to your lips. 

Big reputation, big reputation Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations, ah And you heard about me, oh I got some big enemies (hey) Big reputation, big reputation (yeah) Ooh, you and me, we'd be a big conversation, ah And I heard about you, ooh You like the bad ones too

You rustle the crown off of your head and hand it to Sukuna, who walks over to the edge of the stage and tosses it right to Lana in the front row. Who takes it in her hands and breaks it in half before throwing it behind her back. 

I hit you like, "Bang" We tried to forget it, but we just couldn't And I bury hatchets but I keep maps of where I put 'em Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me And I can't let you go, your handprint's on my soul It's like your eyes are liquor, it's like your body is gold You've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks So here's the truth from my red lips  

I wanna be your endgame (endgame) I wanna be your first string (me and you) (first string) I wanna be your A-Team (be your A-Team now) I wanna be your endgame, endgame I wanna be your endgame (oh, I do) I wanna be your first string (first string) I wanna be your A-Team (A-Team) I wanna be your endgame, endgame

--

--

The last part is the most nerve wracking. You had to abandon your sweet post of sitting in between Eren and Mikasa at your table for your last performance of the night – which was going to be announced by Danny and Sareen. 

It’s like sitting on pins and needles, getting your hair done and slipping into the sparkly but scratchy dress. And surely enough, when you wait on the edges of the curtain and watch them stage your set – of a grand piano and little star decals – they join you at your side. You can feel your hands shake, nearly dropping the trophy in your hands, as you spare them a glance. 

They’re shorter than you remember and frankly, less intimidating too. That coupled with the fact that Danny has a bright pink eye and the slightest bit of dried blood around his nose.

“What happened to your face?” you sneer. 

Danny rolls his eyes. 

“Ask your boy-toy.” he responds. 

You fight the urge to smile, and make a mental note that Eren deserves every bit of your praise when you see him next, as you turn your head back to the stage, where the announcer is presenting the highlights of your career on the back screen. And surely enough, the two of them awkwardly jostle their arms in with yours as the three of you walk out together. 

You stare blankly out in the audience. And refuse to smile. 

You can see Eren sitting front and center as he gives you the smallest thumbs up in support.

“One of our crowning achievements is getting to work with this lovely young lady right here, on some of our most famous albums, like The Lucky One. Please give a well deserved round of applause for the unstoppable Y/N L/N, who will finally be gracing us with her triple threat performance.” Sareen states. 

You note the drag in her voice when she says the word finally. And you fight the acidic feeling that accumulates in your mouth as you’re suddenly acutely aware of the fact that you’re standing next to the two people you hate the most – who continue to take credit for the one thing that’s yours. 

“Out of the three, Y/N has chosen to mimic the signing performance that awarded her this coveted prize. She will be playing her brand new song, vampire, on the piano. A true testament to all the work that the three of us put together as a team, in molding her into a skilled pianist.” Danny states, sticking his hand out to Sareen as the two of them walk off and take a seat right at the front. 

You can feel your skin steaming as you place the award on the top of the piano and sit down at the keys. You’re able to catch Sukuna’s striking pink hair moving on your left – to the seats behind Danny and Sareen – as you take that as your cue to start performing. 

Hate to give the satisfaction, asking how you're doing now How's the castle built off people you pretend to care about? Just what you wanted Look at you, cool guy, you got it I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise I loved you truly Gotta laugh at the stupidity

“Eren. You okay? You’re shaking the entire table.” Lana asks, leaning over to whisper in his ear. 

Eren absentmindedly looks down and notices the nervous shaking in his leg, as he turns to his side and spares her a glance. He can note that Lana's concerned because this is starkly similar to the last time the two of them were here together.

When you were singing your isolating, heart-shattering piano ballad about him, while he was hanging his head in between his legs. After you had slapped him, after you had yelled at him after everything that had happened.

That was far from it. It was the way your hands were shaking on the piano keys that was stressing him out. He needed you to make it through the entire thing. Desperately.

“I’m nervous. I think she’s going to cry.” Eren whispers back. 

'Cause I've made some real big mistakes But you make the worst one look fine I should've known it was strange You only come out at night I used to think I was smart But you made me look so naive The way you sold me for parts As you sunk your teeth into me, oh Bloodsucker, famefucker Bleedin' me dry, like a goddamn vampire 

You’re crying. 

Because all you can think about is how the two of them were just standing there, arms linked in with yours, in a moment that was supposed to be yours. That every moment that was supposed to be yours was theirs – and that even at the end of all of that, their still the one standing their proud with their careers when you had to suffer at the hands of it. 

That taking your career was one thing, but taking advantage of the fact that you knew nothing was another. Because you were a teenager, who was so attached to her dream that she'd do anything to get it, especially when people at the top – were promising it to her.

All at the expense of Eren and his feelings. At the expense of your relationship.

You can feel your hands shaking, your vision entirely blurred as you feel the tears start to pour out of your eyes – your singing voice coming out entirely strained as you continue to push your keys on the piano. And you’re able to strain enough until you get right to the bridge and pause. 

They had a responsibility to look out for you as an adult. And did the exaxt opposite.

You reach back to the slicked back bun and snag the pink ribbon that was secured into the little hair tie. The same pink ribbon that was dangling from your hair the day you were stranded in that godawful rain. And yank it straight out of your hair and wrap a little bow around the bottom of the award. 

You wipe the wetness on your cheek, coming back with the slightest smudge on the back of your hand, before you press your hands into the keys and continue singing. The continuation has people rising out of their seats – and you don’t fail to notice that Eren’s the first one to do it – as you finish the song. 

You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard? You can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart I tried you help you out, now I know that I can't 'Cause how you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand

I've made some real big mistakes But you make the worst one look fine I should've known it was strange You only come out at night I used to think I was smart But you made me look so naive The way you sold me for parts As you sunk your teeth into me, oh Bloodsucker, famefucker Bleedin' me dry, like a goddamn vampire

You take the award and stand up from the bench of the piano to walk straight off the stage, directly to where Sareen and Danny are sitting in the front. Sukuna’s taken the hint to leave the open chair he was sitting in between them and retreats back to his original, as you place the award in between the two of them. 

“Congratulations. I hope it was everything you ever wanted, assholes.” you seethe. 

You slam the award down onto the open space between them, enough for them both to jump up in their seats and spill a glass of wine down the length of Sareen’s dress, as you angrily march back to your seat. And surely enough, Eren and Mikasa are waiting there with open arms, ready to wipe your glittery tears away. 

And as the cameras drop and they cut to commercials for four minutes, you lean your head against Eren’s shoulder as Mikasa pours you a glass of water. 

“So fucking good. So fucking amazing, Y/N you–” Eren whispers.

"Eren even punched him in the face earlier, Y/N! It looked like it really hurt." Mikasa murmurs.

You look up at Eren, and he's grinning so hard, that you can't even fight the urge to not smile back.

"Why'd you punch him?" you ask.

"You slapped Scott Clarkson for me. Why am I not allowed to punch Danny for you?" Eren asks.

You feel a tap on your shoulder and look to your left to find Hange and Levi standing at your side, which really only brings on a more powerful stream of tears. Levi instinctively opens up his arms as you lean against his shoulder instead, Eren standing closeby with Sukuna at his side now.

“Was that everything you wanted Hange?” you groan. 

Hange smiles. 

“And more, kid. I, uh. Actually have something for you.” Hange responds. 

“What’s that?” you ask. 

Hange gestures to Connie at the side, as he produces a small, golden trophy in Hange’s hands. 

“I really don’t give a shit about this anymore. S’kind of how it goes with this type of thing. But, I know this award, this one in my hands specifically meant the world to you back in the day, so I want you to have it.” Hange murmurs. 

You frown. 

“Hange. You can’t just give that to me.” you respond. 

“You gave yours away because it gave you more pain than it was worth. Mine did the same for me at the time too. But, it gives me joy to give it back to you, because really, you deserved it. Back then, but even now too.” 

You take the little golden trophy in your hands, noting that it’s much smaller and really not even as shiny as the one that they had just handed you, and press it close to your chest. 

“Hange, thank you so much. You have no idea what this even means to me.” you whisper, as you wrap your arms around their neck. 

Hange spares Eren a glance over the shoulder and gives him a big thumbs up, coupled with Levi’s approving smile. 

It’s the rare times that Eren’s overthinking habit comes in handy. When he’s able to think ahead and fix things before they happen. 

“I have an idea, kid.” Hange responds. 

--

--

Levi and Hange give you a three day break when you get back to set. You’re not sure what exactly it was that came out of you when you did your last performance, but it was almost like it drained the life out of you. Eren nearly had to drag you back onto that plane and consequently, to your room, when you made it back to the set. 

He thinks that you’ve finally let go of what you’ve been holding on to. And that you can finally move forward now. 

You told him that Marco must have been haunting him overtime for the past few days, which earned you a hearty laugh from him. 

And surely enough, on the fourth day, you’re able to muster your legs down to the kitchen – to a group of well meaning cheers from the group of them – as you read the little slots on the schedule pasted on the fridge. And surely enough, Levi was going to throw you right back into the thick of it. 

Wednesday, April 6th, 8:00 AM 

Eren Head Decapitation 

It’s a stupid caption. If you didn’t know what it meant, you would even laugh at it. 

But you had read ahead already – and knew that it meant that it was finally time for you and Eren to get that kiss scene out of the way.

--

next part linked here

taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06  @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanloll @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar @spiidergirlsworld @luvs4kim @levin4nami @florichun @hoonmyluv

[hxzbinwrites]

Yayyy! Vox was who I wanted to make a request for so I was thinking what if female reader is an overlord who deals with weapons that can kill sinners and hellborn. Maybe she is also an owner of a nightclub? maybe she died in the 1920s and she knew Alastor as well and maybe she’s had a crush on him but he’s not interested in her so then she goes and she dates Vox but then she catches him positioned with Val and she doesn’t know the extent how Valentino is abusing Vox so then fast forward 7 years later and they meet again because she’s helping Alastor and of course that makes Vox jealous and angry and Vox just wants her back and he’ll do anything to show her that he changed and he just wants her back. And maybe he explains how Val treated him and then a happy ending heheh. 🤭 I love your stories. Also maybe reader is badass and is like doesn’t need a man because she got herself but she also loves when Vox protects her? Kinda like that song on TikTok from Olivia Rodrigo that goes “I’m a feminist obviously but I wouldn’t really mind him saving me”

Vox x Fem! Overlord! Weapons Dealer! Reader | Stayed Gone

(A/n): IM BACCKKKK!!! Sorry this is kind rushed, but it was a really fun write!!! I’m promise I’ll get working on more requests but i’m gonna take it easy to slide back into writing after my little break! Thank you to all of those who supported me through this!! ❤️❤️

Warnings ⚠️: Cussing, Vox is OOC, Cheating, Violence, Short (sorry :( )

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!” (Y/n) said, throwing a wine glass across the room, particularly aiming at the TV who was caught in the act with a certain moth.

“(Y/n), babe, ‘ts not what it looks like I swear-“

“Oh really?” She said, a venomous lilt in her voice,”cause right now it looks like you’re getting screwed by your little business partner? Huh? Am I not right on the money sugar? Oh, but where’s that little sarcastic buzzer now?!”

Vox slipped his pants on, zipping up his fly while trying to walk towards (Y/n)

“I swear, you’ve got it all wrong. I’m..this isn’t…we’re not…”

“Save it.” She said,”This, us, is over. Our business deal is over. And if you even try to negotiate or give me some shitty excuse, this little turf you have will belong to my empire and become my next factory.”

Vox was left, standing here, shirt off and wrinkled pants on, watching as the love of his life took the bare necessities and walked out of his life, all while Valentino watched and smirked at the sight.

—————

7 Years Later

“THAT FUCKER IS BACK!!” Vox screamed, his fists slamming down on the table. A month before (Y/n) walked out, the infamous Radio Demon went MIA, and has now returned to the scene, alongside the Princess of Hell, Charlie Morningstar.

“Yeah” Valentino said, in a sultry voice,”I thought he was gone for good too”

“It’s been seven years!” Vox huffed, turning away from the screen, missing a very crucial person who just walked outside to scope the situation of the attack on the hotel.

“You still pissed he almost beat you that time, right before your little angel walked out~?” Valentino teased, rubbing Vox’s digital cheek on his screen, causing a squeegee noise to be emitted

“Uh, fuck you!”

“Just saying!”

“Things have changed a lot since they both left town!”

“That’s for sure”

“I gotta send a message to who’s, really in charge of things now!!”

“Welcome home, I’m gonna make you wish that you’d stayed gone! Say hello, to a new status quo. Everyone knows that there’s a brand new dawn, turn the TV ON!!!”

“Top of the hour, and we’re discussing a certain ‘has-been’ who has been spotted cavorting around town after a seven year absence! Did anybody miss him? Did anybody notice? More on tonight’s program!”

“So the Radio Demon is back in town! Why’s he hanging around? What does that mean for your family? Well handily I’ve got good news, he’s a loser, a fossil, and I don’t mean to sound hostile, but the demon is a coward!”

“You can take that as gospel! Pulling my viewers? Impossible. I’m visual, he’s barely audible! Stop giving him the time of day, don’t listen to a word he’d say! I hope he had a nice vacay, but he should’ve STAYED AWAY!”

“While he rid in radio, we’ve pivoted to video! Now his medium is getting bloody rare!! Hell’s been better since he split! Where’s he been? Who gives a shit!”

“Salutations! Good to be back on the air~!” A familiar, static filled voice responded.

“Yes I know it’s been a while, since someone with style, treated Hell to a proper broadcast. Sinners rejoice!-“

“What a dated voice!-“

“Instead of a clout-chasing, mediocre video podcast-“

“C’mon!”

“Is Vox insecure? Perusing allure? Flitting between this fad and that, is nothing working?”

“Ignore his chirping!”

“Everyday he’s got a new format!”

“You’re looking at the future, he’s the shit that comes before that!”

“Is Vox as strong as he purports? Or is it based on his support? He’d be powerless without the other Vees!”

“Oh please!”

“And here’s the sugar on the cream, he asked me to join his team! I said no, stole his girl, and now he’s pissy, that’s the tea!”

“WHAT?! YOU OLD-TIMEY P-PRICK, ILL SHOW YOU SUF-UF-FFERING!!!!”

“Uh oh, looks like the TV is buffering” A new voice said, mocking Vox’s breakdown. Except it wasn’t a “new” voice, it was (Y/n). (Y/n), with Alastor, at the Hazbin Hotel.”

“ILL DESTROY-Y YOUUUUUU”

“I’m afraid you’ve lost your signal” Alastor said, taking the mic back before finishing his number.

“Let’s begin~”

“I’m gonna make you wish that I’d stayed gone! Tune on in! When I’m done, your status quo will know it’s race is run! Oh this will be fun!”

Vox could hear Alastor laughing alongside (Y/n) in the background, as his monitors start to flash “no signal”

“FUCK!” He whines

————

The gang was all downstairs, Charlie explaining what tomorrows fun activity would be when a loud banging was heard on the door.

“A NEW GUEST!!” Charlie squealed, stars in her pupils, as she ran to go open the door, only to be met with a very tall TV Overlord.

Alastor’s antlers shot out of his head while (Y/n)‘s weapons were at the ready.

“I come with no harm!” Vox said, raising his hands, before locking eyes with (Y/n). His digital eyes made little heart pupils before blinking them away, embarrassed.

“(Y/n)…” he breathlessly said,”I-I know you hate me…but please, I-“

“Save it Vox.”

“I wish I could explain to you that night, or even today, but I can’t! This….deal has my lips sealed shut my love-I mean (Y/n). I-I just…I cannot explain myself with this contract I have.”

“Wait” Angel Dust said,”You’re Valentino’s little situationship, right?”

“If that’s what you wanna call it….”

“Wait….oh shit” Angel said, walking over to him,”I…I know what it’s like…”

“I know…I see you around his studio…I’m not above owning souls, I have my own, but to work with him…? I’d…..I’d free you all in a heartbeat….”

“Vox?” (Y/n) said,”are you in some sort of deal with Val over your…body.”

Vox could only look at her, not able to give her any conformation.

“Oh Vox…I…I didn’t know…I-“

“I know dear…” Vox said, smiling sadly,”but you have a erm….partner, of sorts, not your finest option but whatever, now and I wouldn’t want to intervene-“

“Oh Alastor? Me and him aren’t in a relationship” (Y/n) replied,”You know him, Mr. Ace in the Hole!”

“A what now?-“

“Ohhhhh, that…that explains so much.” Vox said, looking at the Radio Demon.

“Vox…I-I think we need to go home, talk about this in private….after I squish a bug.”

“Okay…” Vox said, holding (Y/n)‘s hand,”but what about this hotel?”

“I’ll still work here, with everyone, I believe in the cause. I just didn’t think you’d want to.”

“Maybe I can….put some ads on if you’d like-“

“YES YES YES PLEASE THANK YOU MR. VOX SIR ID REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!” Charlie said, shaking Vox’s other hand,”IM CHARLIE!!”

Vox smiled, a genuine smile for the first time in a while,”Yeah, yeah I think I need to hang here a little more often…detox a little…”

“Good, I can’t have you stressed out too much, I just got you back.” (Y/n) said, rubbing his digital cheek affectionately,”my little trophy husband”

[cerismo]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

P1. P2. P3. P4.

𐙚 . . . pairing. toxic!rafe x toxic!fem kook!olivia wilson

୨ৎ . . . genre. slow burn. everyone else can see it but them (trope)

.ᐟ . . . content warnings. cussing, arguing

Rafe Cameron and Olivia Wilson were too blind to see their love for each other.

“please please please, don’t prove I’m right”

I had just slapped Rafe fucking Cameron. The prince of the kooks. The son of Ward Cameron. Was I about to be in a shitload of trouble. I froze in absolute fear of what might happen next.

Rafe just froze. His blue eyes now filled with anger and even more hatred than I could possibly imagine. Everyone around was now staring, intrigued by the previous events that had just occurred.

“Olivia Rennee fucking Wilson. I’m gonna ask you one time and one time only. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!?” He screamed so loud that everyone around jumped in fear and utter shock. Yeah Rafe had a violent side but I mean it never showed like this, did I really piss him off that bad, I mean he did call me a slut…

I opened up and closed my mouth a countless number of times searching for the right words to say, but then it hit me in this very moment that I didn’t owe anything to Rafe. So I said the first thing that came to mind, which was the obvious. “You called me a fucking slut. And I am not a slut.” I said moving closer towards him and jabbing my finger in his chest.

“Shit you cloud be fooled me. You were practically begging to fuck Travis.” He said with one hand on his hip and the other pushing my hand back down to my side. I looked around at everyone, and eventually locked eyes either Travis. I quickly shifted my gaze towards my feet in the warm evening sand. The tears started to fill up in my eyes, treating to spill over, but I fought back as hard as I could. But failed in the end, I looked back up and everyone was still staring, I met eyes with the evil, and cruel man in front of me.

“I wasn’t begging to fuck him, and it’s a fucking party, everyone fucking. Are you telling me I can’t have fun now?” I said with sarcasm high in my voice and anger coursing through my rims. The tears I had were well gone away by now. I was just fucking angry that he would even say something like that, in front of everyone. Once again he fucking embarrassed me.

“I BEG YOU DON’T EMBARRASS ME MOTHERFUCKER”

“See Olivia, this is why I didn’t want you at this fucking party anyway. You don’t fucking listen.” He seemed so angry with me even though I should be the angry one, and I am. Why the fuck was he so upset that I was “begging to fuck Travis”? It’s not like he hasn’t slept with almost the whole fucking Outerbanks.

“Well you’re not my fucking Father so shut the hell up and back off.” I said snapping at him, officially done with his bullshit. I was beginning to turn around to go back and receive comfort from my friends when he grabbed my fucking arm for like the tenth time today, but this time a little harder than the others, as if that was even possible.

He started dragging me back up the trail leaving my friends and any other partygoers that were listening in and watching in confusion.

“Rafe let me go. Rafe-“ I struggled to escape the grasp of his weirdly large hands. The whole walk was silent yet again. We had finally reached my car, and once again he almost fucking threw me against my car. “Can you stop fucking throwing me against things please.” I said straightening my dress, and rubbing the soreness from Rafes grasp on my arm.

“Go home Olivia.” He said his face emotionless, I stared at his blank face searching for anything, anything that could help me understand why he was being this way towards me, of course we hated each other but did he have to embarrass me in front of all the fucking kids on the island.

He watched me for a while before speaking again. “Get your ass in the fucking car Olivia!” He was now yelling at me once again, if the people on the beach didn’t hear us earlier they definitely heard us now.

“Why the hell should I Rafe? It’s my fucking life, I can do what I-“ I couldn’t even finish my fucking sentence before Rafe was yet again grabbing my arm, and throwing me in my own car. I just sat there for a minute. I rolled down the window and blankly stared at Rafe.

I sighed as I knew that this wasn’t going anywhere. “What about Sarah, I picked her up?” I asked softly not even having the energy to argue anymore.

“Don’t worry about her, just take your ass home Olivia.” Rafe said rubbing his entire face through his hands. He glanced back up at me and ga me a “well what are you waiting for” kinda look. I sighed once again and started the engine placing my car in reverse, backing out of the lot.

Rafe was already making his way back to the party, before I even left the lot. I sighed in relief that this conversation was over, or so I thought…

MO YAPS

tagged: @venusxsturnio, @flouvela, @monroesturnns

AHHHH guys. This is getting intense like i’m genuinely worried for liz, like their on first name basis now? And those arm grabs are starting to scare me, I should stop…

Anywaysss lemme know your thoughts in the comments or reblog, it’s appreciated <3

[ellethespaceunicorn]

The Howling in Claw Creek Forest, Chapter Two

Chapter Two: The Cabin in the Woods

Rating: Mature, 18+, Minors - DNI

Pairing: Werewolf!Walter Marshall x Reader

Word Count: 3K

Series Summary: You live in a small town called Claw Creek, surrounded by a deep, dark forest. Since you were a kid, an urban legend of the creature in the woods has been told. If the distant howls at night and mutilated livestock are anything to go by, you fear the stories to be true.

Chapter Summary: You search the woods for the house you were taken to that night. It’s been hours and you’re lost. Your phone has no service, it is getting dark, and your dumbass didn’t tell anyone you were going on an adventure.

Warnings: mutual pining

A/N: A special thank you to @peyton-warren for being my lovely beta and soundboard for this. I really hope y’all enjoy this one. It was a tough one to write, Walter was so feisty!

Dividers by me

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art by me

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

When you arrived at the hospital, you had another nurse and colleague check out your head injury on your next shift. Armed with a clean bill of health and a brain bursting with unanswered questions, you try to go about your day. 

The entirety of your workday was spent having coworkers break you out of a trance. Every few minutes, you’d gaze off into nothingness until those around you noticed and snapped their fingers in front of your face. You kept thinking about the wolf and Walter, trying to piece the two together. 

After work, you change your clothes and put on your hiking boots. Even though the drive from the cabin to Liv’s house was short, that was in a vehicle. On foot, you will need to cover a lot of ground. You decided against driving your car down the road that splits the forest. 

If you parked at the entrance to the forest near the park grounds, you could easily sneak back to your car and bypass the curfew checkpoint at the tree line. Not that you planned on being out until nightfall. 

Parking your car in the gravel-filled lot, you tighten your scarf around your neck and start your journey into the woods. Walking takes you about ten minutes to get to the clearing where you and Olivia enjoyed wine coolers. It didn’t seem like it took you this long to get to the clearing a couple of days ago, but you don’t stay long enough to dwell on it.

Retracing your steps, you walk for another few minutes in search of the tree with the giant roots jutting out from the forest floor. After ten minutes of wandering, you think about giving up because daylight is in short supply. Looking down at your phone, you curse when you see the battery percentage looking back at you. Eleven percent wouldn’t get you far should you need to make an urgent call or use the flashlight since you forgot to bring one.

After another few minutes of traipsing through the forest, you trip over a large root and accidentally find your tree. Following the roots, you find the little alcove that you had planned to hide in during your game with Liv. You notice the setting sun as you turn to sit on the higher roots. 

Taking out your phone, you realize that it had shut off due to low power. Shoving it back in your pocket, you stand up and wipe a hand down your face. You’re pissed off, cold, and now have no way to contact anyone should you need to. Anger boils your blood as you stand in the now-dark forest.

Pacing for a few seconds doesn’t calm you down. You start to hear all the little nocturnal animals coming alive and usually, you would find this peaceful. However, you would give anything to hear a certain howl. But it’s just crickets, frogs, and owls out tonight.

You don’t know what else to do but…

“Fuck. Fuck! Fuuuuuuuuuck!” You scream out into the void, it would seem.

Until you hear a response in the form of a huff behind you. 

When you turn around, you're only a little surprised to see the same wolf from before walking toward you. You stand still until it stops about a foot from you. You look down and study its paws, large enough to rip your throat out. But the wolf just sits down as a dog would and looks up at you before yawning, showing off its sharp teeth and long dusty-mauve tongue. 

If this were a dog, you would have reached out a hand to pet it. But the sheer size of it was enough to keep your hands to yourself. You didn't have to think about that for long before the wolf was back on all fours walking around you and nudging at your leg as it started to walk away. It doesn't make it far before it turns around to look at you.

"Oh, am I supposed to follow you or something?" You feel silly asking the wolf a question, but only less so when it huffs in response, "Okay. Following a wolf wasn't on the itinerary. But it isn't attacking me so whatever," You finish, mostly to yourself.

Following the wolf, you notice you are going in a completely different direction through the forest. Of course, the last time you were here was an inebriated adventure but you could've sworn you would go right instead of left. Either way, you're putting your faith in a four-legged carnivore so you stop thinking about what should or shouldn't be happening.

A light in the distance can be seen through the trees and once you reach it, you find yourself in front of a medium-sized cabin. There is a light at the little fence encircling the property. The black Ford F-150 that Walter drove is parked to the side in the driveway. You have to admit you didn't expect to see this place look so...normal. It almost looks quaint.

You shuffle on your feet and are suddenly too nervous to propel you forward. Whining at your side reminds you that you aren't alone. You absentmindedly reach your hand out to stroke the wolf's fur. Thick, coarse fur slides through your fingers. Glowing, yellow eyes look into yours and your fear starts to dissipate. The wolf licks at your hand and then takes off around the back of the cabin.

You think about shouting after it or running after it, but instead, you walk up to the fencing. You could swear you hear a door being closed in the back of the cabin, but you can't be sure and you don't want to snoop. Opening the latch to the gate, you walk through the front yard dragging your feet. Your fight or flight response makes an appearance when you hear movement in the house. 

'It's now or never,' you think, raising your hand to knock on the door. 

Three sharp knocks and you shove your hands in your pockets, waiting for the door to be opened. You jump at the sound of something crashing to the ground and soon the light above the door is turned on. You hold up a hand over your eyes as the harsh fluorescent beams down on you in the dark of night. The door is opened and you take your hand down to see Walter standing there. You’re once again under the spell of him.

He stands tall at about 6’1", and his hair is a disheveled mess but it only adds to the sex appeal. His brows are scrunched together and it doesn’t look like he needs you at his doorstep right now by the scowl across his pretty pink lips. He’s shirtless, sweaty, breathing hard, and smells like a wet dog. The denim shorts he wears are tattered at the ends and his defined calves are on display. His bare feet are a bit dirty as if he’s been running barefoot.

Your eyes shoot back up to his, a faint glow makes his blue eyes look almost golden. He blinks a few times and the glow is gone, aquamarine replaces gold. 

You run through a mental checklist. Wet dog smell, check. Frayed shorts that were probably thrown on in a hurry, check. Golden eyes, check. You feel so stupid thinking about the last item. Walter’s hair color is the same as the wolf that brought you here. 

“Are you going to come in or are you going to just stare at me like I’m a–”

“Werewolf?” You blurt out, cutting off Walter’s sentence.

“Just come in, and I can explain everything,” He opens the door and steps aside to let you in, but you don’t move, “I won’t hurt you, I promise. Please come in?” 

His sincere tone and pleading eyes get the better of you. You sigh, chewing the inside of your cheek. Walking in, you step just inside the living room, giving Walter enough space to close the door behind you. You notice a side table knocked over, a lamp, and small knickknacks on the floor next to it. You turn back to look at him and his face is that of a kicked puppy.

Of course, it is.

“Look, I didn’t–”

“As much as I want to have this conversation right now, I can’t get over how much you smell. I’m gonna need you to take care of that ASAP. Go get clean and I’ll tidy up. And where is the kitchen? I need coffee if I’m gonna have this conversation sober.” You say, taking off your coat and laying on the back of the couch.

Walter walks you to the kitchen and watches as you busy yourself with the coffee maker. You tell him politely to get out of his kitchen and go shower. He opens his mouth to talk but closes it when he sees your eyebrows raise and your hand go to your hip. He simply nods and walks away. You hear him walk up the stairs and soon the faint sound of a shower being turned on before a door is closed.

You fill the coffee maker with grounds and water, setting it then make your way to the living room. Picking up the end table, you turn it right side up and set it on its legs. You bend down to pick up the figurines from the floor. You’re not surprised when they turn out to be two wolves, the larger one made of light wood and the smaller wolf a dark mahogany.

You hear the coffee maker sputtering and go in to check on it. Pulling out two mugs from their spot in the corner cabinet, you fill one and leave one for Walter, not sure if he even wants coffee so late at night. Did werewolves even drink coffee?

So, that’s it. You’re just entertaining the idea that werewolves not only exist but that you’re in a cabin with one. In the back of your mind, your grandfather’s tale of the Claw Creek creature demands attention. You were going over it when you heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

You bring your mug to your mouth to take a sip when Walter appears in the doorway, just as beautiful as when you saw him for the first time. His wet hair curls around his ears. He’s wearing a tighter-than-necessary heather gray henley, the front of it holding onto his pecs for dear life while the sleeves are pulled up to show off muscular forearms. A pair of jeans hug his meaty legs and boots cover his feet.

“You stare a lot.” His words break you out of your ogling and you finally pull down the mug from your lips.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Wolfie,” you comment, suddenly hyperaware that you may have just said something rude.

Walter’s chuckle surprises you, and you’re put at ease, “Wolfie?” He challenges, walking toward you.

You shrug your shoulders and stand your ground, looking up at him as he stops in front of you. He nods to the coffee maker and you step back to let him make a cup for himself. He takes a sip and hums at the flavor. He turns to ask you about it and you answer before he can open his mouth.

“Cinnamon. Just a few shakes and it takes away the sharp bitterness. Now, if you’re done talking about coffee, can we talk about how you can turn into a wolf?” Your frustration peeks through and Walter nods, leading you back into the living room.

Once you get to the couch, you set down your coffee on the table in front of you and turn to face Walter. He takes the cue and starts to speak.

“So, what do you want to know? Do you want me to go through my entire lifetime? It’s quite long, so far. Or start where I was attacked and bitten by someone I thought was a friend? Should I dispel werewolf myths about uncontrollable shifting during the full moon?” He rambles on, probably trying to confuse you or overwhelm you. 

Luckily, you’re already overwhelmed so his attempt is in vain.

“I have a couple of questions. The first one is: Do you eat people? The second one is: Could you follow my scent to find me?” you offer, pulling your leg up to sit on it while leaning against the back of the couch.

“I don’t eat people. I don’t think Werewolves as a whole, ever eat people. Attack? Sure. But no, I don’t crave human flesh,” he pauses, looking down at his hands, “How’d you know about the scent thing?” He’s suddenly super interested in his fingernails.

“I didn’t know about the scent thing. You just confirmed a hunch, is all,” You reach for your mug, bringing it closer to your lips before taking a sip, “One more question and I’ll release you from the hot seat. Are you safe out here? Like, I mean, with the animal mutilations in the town, they were talking about sending hunters out to look for whatever was doing it.”

“That wasn’t me, just so you know. I’m safe out here. I actually live in town, I just come here to shift and get some time away. No one comes out this way. This used to be an abandoned shack, but I fixed it up over the past years. Got electricity going and made it...wait. You care if I’m safe out here?” he presses, a toothy grin showing off his sharp canines.

“You saved my life, I can’t care about your wellbeing? I’m being nice, don’t push it, Wolfie,” you snap, a little harsher than you meant to. You did feel lied to, but he was being honest with you. You shake your head before insisting, “I’m sorry, I just...this is a lot. And I need you to know that I was really pissed off with you in the beginning, but I know why you didn’t tell me. Safety and all that. Maybe you can drive me back to my car so I can start the drive back home?” You were cut off by an intense yawn that came out of nowhere.

“Speaking of safety, you look like you’re ready to fall over. You’ve had all of about two sips of coffee and that yawn almost unhinged your jaw a bit there. Just, I won’t be able to sleep if I know you’re tired behind the wheel,” he admits, turning concerned eyes on you.

“You know, as a wolf, using puppy dog eyes on me should be considered unfair. And how do I know this is not some elaborate excuse to get me into your bed so you can have your way with me, huh?” you huff, squinting at him as his eyes glimmer in the low light of the room.

“Do you want me to have my way with you?” he leans back, head over his shoulder, and crosses his arms over his broad chest.

Your hand flies out to slap his bicep. You figure that was easier than giving him the answer that was on the tip of your tongue.

He rolls his eyes and gets up from the couch, pointing to your coffee cup in your hand and motioning for you to give it to him. He takes both of your unfinished cups to the kitchen and when he comes back, he heads for the stairs. “You coming, pup?”

“Pup? Is that because I called you Wolfie?” You stand up from the couch, tilting your head at him before walking to follow him up the steps.

“I don’t know, give me time and I’ll think of something better.” He winks at you and smiles when you duck your head.

Once Walter shows you to his bedroom, you don’t hide your urge to look over everything in the room while he leans against the open door. You almost get upset when you see that his bedspread isn’t a large picture of a wolf’s face. Somehow you thought it would just fit in with his vibe. But the midnight blue damask comforter that covers the bed is actually way more fitting.

“Wait, where are you gonna sleep if I sleep in here?” You question as you sit on the bed and take off your boots.

“I figured I would sleep on the couch. I don’t need much sleep anyway. Unless that was an invitation…?” he smirks and is surprised when you look to be thinking it over.

“Can you stay in here ‘til I fall asleep? I don’t want to be alone.” you confess, looking everywhere but who you were talking to. You can’t believe the words coming out of your mouth, but you also know you won’t sleep in a bed that’s not yours all by your lonesome.

“Are you alright? I mean, of course, you’re not. What am I saying?” he rambles, coming into the room fully and hunching his shoulders so he can seem less intimidating.

Walter walks over to the bed, pulls back the bedspread, and motions for you to crawl under the covers. Once you are comfortable, he turns on a low light on his dresser and turns off the overhead light of the room. Coming back to the bed, he sits at the edge and toes off his boots before you pull him to lie down next to you.

Turning to face him as he lays on his back, you stare at his face as he looks up at the ceiling. You’re interlacing your fingers so that you don’t reach out and trace his jawline when a thought pops into your head.

“When’s the last time you had a woman in your bed?” You breathe, mentally kicking yourself for not thinking longer before you voice your thoughts.

“It’s been a while. Years. I don’t really...mingle much.” He murmurs, eyes never moving from one particular spot.

You refuse to acknowledge the “lone wolf” analogy, instead, you steady yourself before putting a hand on his. “Thank you for saving me, Walter. Goodnight.” Taking your hand back, you close your eyes and let tiredness take its course.

“You’re welcome.” His soft voice is barely above a whisper, but it’s the last thing you hear before you’re fully asleep.

To be continued…

A/N:  Wow, you mean to tell me I got these two folks in bed together and they’re both dressed still? What?! Don’t hate me!

**Tag List** 

@deandoesthingstome @cakesandtom @brattymum96 @ambinxe @avengersfan25 @kebabgirl67 @thabiddie23 @sweetandgentlecreature @foxyjwls007 @art2emily @titty-teetee @astheskycries @enchantedbytomandhenry @rebelangel1102 @milknhonies @peyton-warren @geralts-yenn @raccoon-eyed-rebel @cardierreh15 @viking-raider @imaslutforcuddles @ilovetaquitosmmmm @warriormirkwood @calwitch @meanlilbean @samahenoyrhye @openup-yourmind @juliaorpll78 @princessaxoo @toooldforobsessions @carrie80reads @liveoncoffeeandflowersss 

Let me know if you wanna be added (or removed) 😁 

[astoryisaloveaffair]

Fix You - Chapter 16 - Genesis

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales x Fem!Reader

Fic Masterlist

Read on A03

Spotify Playlist

»»———————►

Chapter Summary: 🤷‍♀️

Word Count: 4K

Rating: Explicit

Chapter Warnings: cussing, graphic violence, mentions of sex. I'm not giving more warnings than that, sorry.

A/N: Hey all. First I want to say I'm sorry. I literally had no time or motivation to write this. I'm gonna be honest, this is a really tough chapter, and it was hard to get in this headspace. Suffering a recent heartbreak, things in this chapter are things I have thought also, and so it was really hard for me to voluntarily want to address that. I also started working in veterinary medicine, i do not have the spare time that I used to. We also recently adopted a puppy who we named Bucky! And if you read my earlier posts, you know that I was SA'd last January. All that to say, sorry I couldn't do this faster.

Also want to wish a happy birthday to @musings-of-a-rose, my beloved, my bestie, and my constant support. This is for you. Sorry it's not a happier chapter....

* If a character is speaking fully in Spanish, I will put “[ ]” around the dialogue. I speak pretty decent Spanish but not good enough for this

Suggested Songs: "Exile" Taylor Swift feat. Bon Iver, "I Love You" Billie Eilish, "Vampire" and "Logical" by Olivia Rodrigo, "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron and Phoebe Bridgers, "Genesis" by Grimes

You didn’t even flinch at the landing, which was rough, so that’s saying a lot. When the janky cargo door (which looked like at any time during the flight would be ripped right off) opens, you barely even lift your eyes from the floor. You felt heavy and hollow, somewhere suspended in between shock and just not giving a fuck anymore. The only thing you could still fell was the pinching in your heart. It was still broken.

At some point during the journey, the co-pilot had taken pity on you and untied your arms from behind your back and bound them in front of you instead. You hadn’t struggled. There was no point. Where would you go? Jump in the ocean? You weren’t that great of a swimmer and you loved sharks and everything but the open ocean is not where you are supposed to be.

You have no sense of space and time, so you have no actual clue where you are other than not the mainland. You’re dehydrated as fuck, groggy, your vision’s blurry and you’d figured out the sticky moisture on your face was your own blood. 

Because when you had suddenly blacked out it was because they’d hit you, and had absolutely no hesitation doing so. They did not care about you, they did not see you as a human being, they didn’t even bother strapping you into a seat so you had been sliding around the cargo bay the entire flight, bumping into everything. You were in deep danger, any hope that you would have some ransom protection had pretty much disintegrated. You had hoped that the boys wouldn’t come for you at first. Then you had hoped that they would, because if you’re ransom, even if at the very least you’d be alive until then, right? But “alive” doesn’t mean unharmed.

A shadow looms over you and it finally makes you look up, squinting to adjust your eyes to something so close, as well as the brightness of the sun. It feels like it takes you 10 whole minutes to process that you were being spoken to in English.

“Eh!” The man leaning over you snips, and when you simply blink in confusion and don’t answer, he slaps you lightly on both cheeks. You’re stunned enough to finally look at him, his oval face, beady eyes and unique sideburns seeming so familiar to you but quite frankly you wouldn’t trust yourself with recognizing even your dad at the moment, so you push that thought aside.

He kneels down in front of you. “You listen to me. We don’t want you. We want the money. This means if you don’t fucking piss me off, I might be nice and not kill you, you understand? Be a smart little girl, eh?.”

You nod, you probably should be feeling some sort of panic setting in but you don’t. Whatever. Who even cares anymore.

He takes your silence as submission. “Bueno.” He whispers, leaning down and grabbing you by the arm, lifting you until you are back on your feet. He tilts his head and steps to the side, revealing 5 additional men with AKs pointed straight at you. From behind, you feel the sharp tip of another poking your back, urging you forward and down the precarious ramp. The pilots.

You didn’t trust that they wouldn’t hurt you, but you knew you had no other choice. Trying to fight was asking for it, and once you step out of the hold and realize you were in the fucking jungle, there would be no sensical place to go even if you did get away.

You step out of the plane onto a rickety steel ramp that bounces as the footpad of your sandals touches it and shuffle slowly down it. You feel suffocated sandwiched between four men, your hands chafe where they are tied and you have been in the same positions for so long your whole body is sore. Every touch and movement hurt.

You stumble as the ramp ends but one of the men grabs your arm and yanks you so you don’t fall. It wasn’t kindness. It was a way to hurt you that he could get away with. The tiny dirt landing strip is almost canopied completely by the jungle trees, leaving large patches here and there where the plane flew through, not noticeable from far above. It looks like you’re walking to nothing, just a dirt road that ends right into the thick middle of the jungle, but you don’t stop at the edge. You push through.

It’s hot as shit and you felt sweat buildup in every crevice of your body, your thighs are rubbing raw from your asinine decision to wear short shorts to the fair, and you could feel a heat rash growing under your tits that you couldn’t even scratch because your hands are bound.

You walk for forever. You walk until the friction rash on your inner thighs turn to lesions. You haven't drank water in almost 48 hours and it feels like 150 degrees out, with full humidity. You’ve had to stop twice already to vomit from heat exhaustion and you still occasionally gag even though there’s nothing in your stomach to come up anymore. All the years that you did not appeal to insects are making up for it now, they’re all over you and you can’t walk 3 steps without one getting in your eye.  The jungle gets tighter and you can’t breathe because it’s pushing in on you almost as tight as the hands on your shoulders pushing you forward..

You start crying. At least, that is what you tell yourself as you whimper and sob as quietly as you can. You know you’re strong, but this is just beyond reason that any normal person could take. And when you think about how this is probably what life was all the time in Delta for the boys, you cry even harder because you feel guilty, that you have no right to complain.

Finally, after what feels like forever, the tightness of the jungle seems to loosen. More open. You notice some of the trees look more oddly arranged than others. As you get closer you realize they aren’t trees at all, but tents and dilapidated buildings built into the shadows of the trees.  The huge roots and overhanging canopy of the jungle transformed a bustling camp into what looks like a little village. At the entrance, a line of guards in jungle fatigues that were impossible to detect until you got right up to them. You hear someone speak above you, alerting you to a man up in the trees on a platform tucked between the branches. There was another in the tree on the opposite side. He calls to the man with the sideburns, saying something in Spanish you can’t interpret fast enough, but it’s jovial and they laugh, and it makes you feel like you’re going to go mentally insane. 

It’s like it’s not even serious to them. And it’s so serious to you.

You are pushed through the camp quickly, but not quick enough that you don’t see the insane amount of cocaine packages piled up in the makeshift buildings, sheds, and tents toward the back. Men were milling about checking them, moving them and glaring at you as you walked past.

You continue past the main camp, crossing over a bustling creek whose bridge was literally just planks of wood, but you noticed there were tire marks across them so you felt at least safe it could handle a car’s weight. Across the creek, an old stonework manor stood. You can tell at one time it must have been glorious, but the white stone-worked walls were dirty and crumbling in many places, the fountains out front had dried crusty palm fronds and dirt in them and looked like they hadn’t sprayed water since the 1980s.

It was still oddly beautiful. You thought about how this house came to be, what it might have looked like when it had been first built. A beautiful Caribbean sea mansion. A jungle that hadn’t closed in on it yet. Fountains spraying and colorful birds resting on the rooftops. But then you  realize that this place has probably always been used for what it is now. Someone like Carl Lehder probably lived here and ran an entire cartel within this very jungle. Maybe it was the same one, just run by someone else.

There was a shabbily made shack to the left of the manor with padlocks, piles of debris piled next to the door. You assume that’s where you would be taken, but you were instead led up the stairs to the manor proper. And as your eyes focus in on the ground while you were being guided to the mansion instead, you realize the heap of matter by the shack that you thought was some dying plantation was actually a crumpled human body. A boy looking not much older than 17, shot execution style in the head and left to rot.

Then smell hits you, your knees buckle and you vomit on the stonework stairs, a scream of shock and realization pierces the jungle, making the nearby tropical birds explode from the treetops. When the sicarios pick you up and carry you through the mansion door, you’re still screaming.

Eventually whoever was carrying you became fed up, and simply dropped you at the bottom of the stairs and dragged you up backwards by the armpits instead. You didn’t even feel the step edges hitting the small of your back all the way up, but you would later. 

You were tossed stricken and shivering on a disgusting, top-sheeted mattress on the floor in the corner of a room, your feet still bound together and your rope-bound hands looped through a radiator that was long enough only for you to lie down or shuffle over to a bucket for your business. Everything stank and you still had vomit on your chin so you curled up in a ball and slammed your eyes closed, hoping that in time the voices and smells and fear would give way to just simple numbness. You didn’t hear a female voice speaking to you for several seconds.

Your eyes snap open, skin pulled taut from dried unwiped tears,and you jolt upright to look in the direction of the voice. A woman who wasn’t even tied up was propped up against the adjoining wall, and as you take in her condition you could understand why they hadn’t even bothered. She wouldn’t have been able to run.

Her legs look..wrong, splaying at angles that shouldn’t be possible. They look like they could be broken, but you can’t tell for sure because she was wearing jeans that cover up most of her skin. The jeans were ripped in some places and stained with dark blood spots, the color turning brighter wherever her skin shows through the tears in the fabric. She’s missing several fingers on her left hand that had been burnt at the ends to cauterize, and her face was black and blue, swollen and smeared with more blood that seemed to be coming from her scalp somewhere. Her lips are pale and cracking and her eyes are glazed over and barely open. When she speaks, she already sounds like she is dead. 

She swallows and winces slightly in pain, then licks her cracked pale lips.“Is…my…her–my brother. Did you see him? Out there?” 

Your face scrunches in confusion, which actually hurts a little and you’re not sure from what specifically. Perhaps you look just as bad as the other girl. “Your–I—I don’t understand.”

She’s too exhausted to even be annoyed with you. “My brother. They took him from me days ago. They do not talk to me anymore. They don’t—need me anymore.” A single tear falls down her swollen cheek and you suddenly feel so much connection with this woman and how  incredibly fucking strong she is. Her eyes roll over to you, meeting yours for the first time. There are burst blood vessels in them. 

“I think that they killed him.”

Your lips part and you utter a shuddering breath as you connect the dots. There’s no point in sugar-coating it. You nod slowly. “I think so. But it’s not…recent.” You look away as her eyes slowly close, the additional tears she was holding back finally spilling over and cascading down her cheeks. 

“Bueno.” She says. “Then at least he is not suffering like me.” 

You both fall quiet and you look over her again. Her pants aren’t completely done up and her t shirt is ripped at the neckline, exposing a gashed shoulder. Almost like…

You start crying again, and you feel even worse about it this time because you have in front of you a woman who has been through much worse and is somehow NOT crying. You curl tighter into yourself to try and hide. 

But she simply asks. “Who are you?”

You swallow, raising your head up off your arms, quickly wiping the access tears off on your sleeve. It’s incredible how adrenaline and fear can sometimes make you the most clear-headed you’ve ever been. Your thoughts are swirling but you knew one thing for damn sure, if they didn’t know your name yet, you weren’t going to say it now. 

If I look forward I am lost. Focus on right now. Nothing else. It’s my best chance.

You know enough about trauma that compartmentalizing this moment is your best chance. You can’t think what will happen if you don’t escape, if you aren’t found, if they never come for you. You need to stay focused. You need to keep hope alive. You need to stay coherent, because if a chance pops up, you need to be able to think quickly.

“I’m no one.” You mumble. “Just happened to be dating the wrong person.”

She sniffs and looks away, but it’s muffled because her nose sounds congested. You don’t miss her tone though. “Mmmm. His new one then.”

You blink. “What?”

Her glazed over, discolored eyes snap back to yours. “Pope.” She spits. “Your man. Santia—”

“NO!” You cut her off with a shout, you know there is a guy who is in the area and you still don’t know how much these men do or do not know. “Don’t. Don’t give them names if they don’t already know it.”

“I don’t give a shit about Agent Garcia, or his friends, or anyone else, it’s their fault I am here and it’s their fault my brother is dead and..” She finally, finally starts to cry. “I told him I didn’t want to do it. They said they would let us go if we gave them what they wanted.”

“It was you.” You exhale with a shuddering breath. “They found us cause of you. You told them.” You shake your head, and for some reason you feel betrayed by this woman even though you’ve never met her.  “How could you?” 

“Because all I care about is my brother, do you understand?! I wish I’d never met him, Garcia, we would have just snuck away and no one would never seen us, but no, instead we listened to him and helped them steal from fucking Lorea, and now they found us and I knew they would, and YES, I gave them EVERYTHING because they said they’d let us go so long as they found you and–”

“Eh!” A voice trails in with a watchman you knew was hanging out somewhere in the hallway beyond. He slips through the doorway, a smaller man you were not expecting from that voice, and leans against the deteriorating door frame. He crosses his arms and his legs and it makes the handgun on his hip jut out prominently from his skinny hips. “No talking to each other.” His voice is silky and the words all slide together so it sounds like ‘no talkintoeeachother.’

You shrink back into the dirty wall behind you as your associate spits a bloody phlegm ball in the man’s direction. “FUCK you!” She snarls, a tirade of cuss words in Spanish flying from her lips. 

A loud pop almost bursts your eardrums and your heart and you exclaim in terror as your associate is shot point blank in the head, her back slumping against the wall and her head hitting with a bang, pieces of blood and brain tissue spraying over the back wall with pieces flying in your direction.  

The man remains completely motionless with his arms still raised before huffing a laugh to himself, putting the gun back on his hip, and looking at you with the such an unaffected gaze it leaves you feeling dizzy and you scream and scream and scream yourself hoarse, crumpling onto your mattress in a terrified heap, arms over your head, sobbing hysterically.

A gentle but firm palm wraps around your forearm, yanking you back up to a seated position. You look away, but the man’s other hand takes you gently by the jaw and makes you look at him. And just behind him, the woman slumped in a pool of blood and brain matter. You try to wriggle out of his grip but he tightens ever so slightly, and you can’t help but notice how different it is when Frankie would grab you like that versus this man. Frankie held you the same, sometimes harder, but you had trusted his domination and his care of you and because of that, it made it arousing. That same motion with this man has you more scared than you ever have been in your life. 

“Bebita.” He coos, thumb lightly caressing your jaw. He wipes at a small speck of blood you don’t know is even there. You can feel yourself shaking and breathing so fast you can see his half waxed back tousled locks that hang past his temples are blowing in its breeze. You can’t answer him. “Look at me.”

You do. His eyes are a dark, almost black chocolate brown, shape mismatched, a scruffy beard and goatee and thin lips. In another world you would find him devastatingly attractive and the fact that you do makes you feel absolutely violated and disgusted with yourself. 

“Do not cry.” He continues. “You have no reason to if you behave, si? You be good and you listen and I will keep you safe you understand? Well, at least for now.” He shifts closer to you, you can smell his breath. It smells like orange and cloves. “There are a lot of men here Bebita. I am sure you understand what this means, si? Answer me.”

“Yes.” A final fat tear spills from one of your eyes, and it stings as it mixes with your sweat and the raw skin around your eyes. 

He juts his head in the other woman’s direction. “This one, she fight the whole time. I like a easy job. Make my job easy, I make sure you always deal with me. Do not make me call in the other guys, they are not as nice. Understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” He releases your chin and you scoot back quickly as he saunters over to the other woman’s bloody body, grabs it by the arm, and casually drags her as dismissively as possible out the door and out of your sight, leaving a bloody trail behind.

At first you just sit there in a slump staring at the opposite wall,, you don’t know for how long. Probably hours. Maybe days. The man, whose name you figured out from when he spoke to someone else in the hall, is Angel. Sometimes he would sit up and watch you, as if figuring you out, your body and the way you shift and switch positions when you are uncomfortable, what it looked like when you were crying and trying to keep quiet and unnoticed. But most of the time he ignored you. Occasionally others would come into the room and either speak to him or approach you, but upon noticing Angel watching them they would hiss or spit a curse and slink off.

The room reminded you of those old houses from the 70s that had those drafty unfinished basements that were simply concrete floors, painted stucco or white brick. To the sicarios, it served as an overflow area, there was a rotting desk along the side wall with a metal folding chair and piles of scattered papers and random household tools on them. Against the opposite side wall was a pretty nice tv, considering, which was always playing soccer. Angel seemed to make that his home base, his lithe frame sprawled across a grandma-fabric sofa, head resting on one of the puffy arm rests. He binge-smoked cigarettes and his right hand was always stretched over his head resting against his forehead in the direction of to an end table with an massive overflowing porcelain ashtray on it. You didn’t used to mind the smell of cigarettes too much but now it makes you feel sick.

You’re ashamed of how little you actually think about your current situation and like the hopeless romantic idiot you are, mostly all you can think about is Frankie. The things he said–you knew he said mean things when he was mad, or things he didn’t mean, but isn’t there always some truth to things that are said in the heat of the moment? That was enough for you to silently spiral. You thought about every memory you had of him and how it could be viewed through the lens that Frankie just wanted to fuck you. Your self confidence was low enough it was believable, and your mind races through every instance of an older man being in a relationship with someone much younger and how of course it was predatory, and how could you not see it, that you didn’t have anything in common? It’s a tale as old as time. He just wanted to fuck you, he wanted to fuck you and dominate you, his dark desires seducing you into feeling so wanted you can’t believe you thought he loved you and didn’t see right through it. 

And his friends, well, they were all in on it weren’t they, because why would they want to hang out with someone like you either? Why would men such as that actually want to be friends with you when you have never experienced half of what they have.

Fuck him. Fuck him and his lying ass, he was a fucking loser addict and you’re pissed at yourself for even considering him. Like how lonely were you?? To choose an old man with a kid who served in an institution that represented everything you hated about this country? To be so easily blinded by pretty words and love bombs to immediately take your clothes off. Because how, if he actually loved you or even like you, could he possibly have lied about something so big?! Or bought you something nice with all that fucking drug money he stole. Not that you’d want it or expected it, but why wouldn’t you want to treat someone you love as much as he claimed to? 

How could he sit there and make up what happened to Tom like that, when you were being so coddling and trying to be a caring ear. And Benny…Pope...if they were your friends they should have told you, that’s what real friends do…

But they weren’t your friends. They were never your friends. 

And if you went the other way, and considered that it was all true, that he did love you, that they were all your friends, and that he lied to you and threw stones to hurt you and push you away, how was that any better? You couldn't even think about a future not being with him, but obviously he could. He could watch you cry and question him and not even look at you, completely ignore you, then not even think about you again. No texts, no calls. No “I’m sorry, please come back.” Silence. 

How could it be so easy for him? How can he just go about his life like you never happened? Why did you still care?

Why did you still want him? 

Why did you still love him so so much. Part of you wishes they’d get on with it and just kill you. At least then you wouldn’t have to feel this excruciating pain. You wouldn’t have to see him show up to rescue you because he has to, to have to see his fucking face and every line, crinkle, scar, the bald patch in his beard and the tousled little curls that pop out of his hat…only for him to save you and then leave again, or die and then you have the guilt of killing a man who no longer loved you.

Yea. You think you’d rather die.

You feel like you’re going to throw up again. You’d let him force his cock in your mouth as far as it could go, let him tie you up and fuck you hard enough to leave bruises you had thought of as a badge of honor. You’d let him cum on your face. You’d let him fucking cum inside you! He’d gaslit you so you actually wanted him to tie you up with zip ties—-

Your heart almost stops. You can picture how his face looked exactly when he said it.

Sometimes rope can give over time.

That’s why we always used zip ties.

You look down at your bound hands.

They’re bound with rope.

[l0verf0rever]

𝙔𝙚𝙨, 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙚'𝙨 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙭 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙩𝙬𝙤 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙩? | 𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙡𝙚𝙘𝙡𝙚𝙧𝙘💋

[Charles Leclerc X Singer Reader]

Social Media Au!

Warning : Smut , Toxic Behavior , Fluff ending,Don’t get back with you’re ex pls.

Summary : Seeing You’re Ex places tonight its a bad ideas right?

MasterList

Bad idea right? - Olivia Rodrigo

Seeing Each other at tabloids and its hard to avoid at a dinner party with you’re friends “okay whos you’re hottest person you hooked up with?” As they take turns answering Distracted by You’re phone

And I'm right here with all my friends. But you're sendin' me your new address

“Uhm.. Charles?..” awkward silence “Y/n You Never seen any other hotter men?” They talk to you “ Can’t remember when really” As the dinner wraps up and You’re on the way to he’s place

They texted you “Y/n what are you doing We’re gonna have a get together!” In the Car the way to he’s place “i Can’t i’m gonna sleep soon” didn’t say where tho and you’re planning a different get together

And I pull to your place on the second floor And you're standin', smiling at the door

He opens the door smiling “i missed you” holding you’re waist He slowly Kisses you as you’re lipstick stains he’s lips bringing you to he’s Bedroom but still not letting you go

Being at the warmth of each other body as both of you’re phones blew up due to each other under him as He makes hickeys on you “mon amour fuck” you’re arms around he’s neck as he’s hand holding you’re naked back as he’s chest pressed to you’re breast

“Seulement le mien ?” As both of you are in a cowgirl position “ye-yes” breathy moans escaping and hard groans Being in the comfort of each others body as a release he pulls you in for a kiss

“Charles f-fuck more “ he becomes more aggressive with you manhandling you at the point switching positions He’s hand on you’re breast and the other one holding you’re hips “fucked you so many times still so fucking tight”

Hes heavy groans reaching each others high in a few hours later

Being under He’s sheets was a offer u couldn’t resist you’ll take it any time of the day he’s hands around you’re back making sure you’re close to him

“mon amour i was foolish to leave you “ as he kisses You’re temples “ill clean you up”carrying you bridal style to he’s Bathroom falling asleep as both of you go back to bed

He’s messy hair and he’s face still asleep as the morning light shines on you’re body getting dressed to leave

Not knowing he follows “don’t leave please” holding you’re arm “i want you to stay” you stayed and

Under He’s sheets as you open you’re phone missed calls from you’re friends “why the hell did you get back with Charles!?” Being heard as Charles listened

You’re friends practically pissed off “why did u hooked up again!” As you speak “Yes, I know that he's my ex But can't two people reconnect? I only see him as a friend “. (The biggest lie I ever said)! As u smirk knowing well you got back together

“𝙄 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙙!”.

Hi its me again i hope this doesn’t flop i also love the new song bad idea right! And i’m just so inlove with the concept of it i made this story ! Hope you love it as much as i do<3

[locklylemybeloved]

i seriously need people to stop hating on olivia rodrigo and taylor swift and sabrina carpenter.

please stop putting down other people because they listen to pop artists. you arent a cooler and better person because you only listen to rock - this is coming from someone who loves rock music. you arent a cooler and better person because you relentlessly call successful female artists and their listeners “basic.” you arent a cooler and better person than me because you come to school wearing an 80s rock band tshirt and i come to school in my taylor swift merch.

remember when obscure bands were hated on? yknow how even now when someone listens to indie or “underground” music, people mock them for being qUiRkY and DiFfErEnT? wasnt that annoying and doesnt that really piss you off?

yeah. its stupid. the fact that some of yall are out here insulting people because of the sound waves they project into the holes in their head is fucking insane.

“i dont like pop music it bores me its blah blah blah whatever ” ok. cool. dont listen to it then.

“olivia isnt talented shes just like (insert another female artist)” ok. cool. between you and her, which one has three grammys?

“i dont like that artist her songwriting is boring her lyrics are stupid and bad and BASIC.” cool. great. DONT FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM.

just stop being an asshole it doesnt look good on you :/

[persephonememes]

* (  GUTS BY OLIVIA RODRIGO /  SENTENCE PROMPTS.

These may have been edited for clarity or length or to better apply for roleplaying.

❛ i pay attention to things that most people ignore ❜

❛ i'm alright with the movies that make jokes about senseless cruelty ❜

❛ i feel for your every little issue ❜

❛ i know just what you mean ❜

❛ i make light of the darkness ❜

❛ i've got sun in my motherfuckin' pocket ❜

❛ you know me ❜

❛ i forgive and i forget ❜

❛ i know my age and i act like it ❜

❛ i've got what you can't resist ❜

❛ i got class and integrity just like a goddamn kennedy ❜

❛ i'm a perfect all-american bitch ❜

❛ i know my place ❜

❛ i don't get angry when i'm pissed ❜

❛ i'm the eternal optimist ❜

❛ i scream inside to deal with it ❜

❛ i'm grateful all the time ❜

❛ i'm sexy and i'm kind ❜

❛ i'm pretty when i cry ❜

❛ haven't heard from you in a couple of months ❜

❛ i'm out right now and i'm all fucked up ❜

❛ i'm sensing some undertone ❜

❛ i'm right here with all my friends ❜

❛ i know we're done ❜

❛ i know we're through ❜

❛ my brain goes 'ah' can't hear my thoughts ❜

❛ i cannot hear my thoughts ❜

❛ i should probably not ❜

❛ seeing you tonight, it's a bad idea, right? ❜

❛ it's a bad idea, right? ❜

❛ fuck it, it's fine ❜

❛ yes, i know that he's my ex. but can't two people reconnect? ❜

❛ i only see him as a friend, the biggest lie i ever said ❜

❛ i just tripped and fell into his bed ❜

❛ now i'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans ❜

❛ i know i should stop, but i can't ❜

❛ i told my friends i was asleep but i never said where or in whose sheets ❜

❛ i'm sure i've seen much hotter men but i really can't remember when ❜

❛ how's the castle built off people you pretend to care about ❜

❛ i see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when i close my eyes ❜

❛ i loved you truly ❜

❛ you gotta laugh at the stupidity ❜

❛ i've made some real big mistakes but you make the worst one look fine ❜

❛ i've made some real big mistakes ❜

❛ i should've known it was strange you only come out at night ❜

❛ i used to think i was smart but you made me look so naïve ❜

❛ the way you sold me for parts as you sunk your teeth into me ❜

❛ bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire ❜

❛ every girl i ever talked to told me you were bad news ❜

❛ you're so convincing ❜

❛ how do you lie without flinching? ❜

❛ how do you lie? ❜

❛ what a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked up little thrill ❜

❛ i can't figure out just how you do it and god knows i never will ❜

❛ you went for me and not her 'cause girls your age know better ❜

❛ you said it was true love but wouldn't that be hard? ❜

❛ you can't love anyone 'cause that would mean you had a heart ❜

❛ i tried to help you out ❜

❛ i tried to help you out now i know that i can't ❜

❛ how you think's the kind of thing i'll never understand ❜

❛ aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell? ❜

❛ did i ever tell you that i'm not doing well? ❜

❛ i linger all the time ❜

❛ i linger all the time watching, hidden in plain sight ❜

❛ i try but it takes over my life ❜

❛ i see you everywhere ❜

❛ the sweetest torture one could bear ❜

❛ i'm losing it lately ❜

❛ i feel your compliments like bullets on skin ❜

❛ aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist? ❜

❛ my stomach's all in knots ❜

❛ you got the one thing that i want ❜

❛ people are people, but it's like you're made of angel dust ❜

❛ it's like you're out to get me ❜

❛ you poison every little thing that i do ❜

❛ i just loathe you lately ❜

❛ i despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you ❜

❛ i despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you ❜

❛ i don't think i get along with anyone ❜

❛ i'm on the outside of the greatest inside joke ❜

❛ i hate all my clothes ❜

❛ it feels like my skin doesn't fit right over my bones ❜

❛ so i guess i should go ❜

❛ the party's done, and i'm no fun ❜

❛ i broke a glass, i tripped and fell ❜

❛ i tripped and fell ❜

❛ i told secrets i shouldn't tell ❜

❛ i stumbled over all my words ❜

❛ i made it weird ❜

❛ i made it worse ❜

❛ each time i step outside it's social suicide ❜

❛ i wanna curl up and die ❜

❛ i laughed at the wrong time ❜

❛ i talked to this hot guy, swore i was his type ❜

❛ everything i do is tragic ❜

❛ the morning after i panic ❜

❛ oh god, what did i say? ❜

❛ when i'm alone, i'm fine ❜

❛ don't let me out at night ❜

❛ i'm shocked i'm still alive ❜

❛ i called you the wrong name twice ❜

❛ i want it, so i got it ❜

❛ another thing i ruined, i used to do for fun ❜

❛ another conversation with nothing good to say ❜

❛ another day pretending i'm older than i am ❜

❛ another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine ❜

❛ sometimes i feel like i don't wanna be where i am ❜

❛ i push away all the people who know me the best ❜

❛ it's me who's been makin' the bed ❜

❛ i'm so tired of being the girl that i am ❜

❛ every good thing has turned into somethin' i dread ❜

❛ i'm playin' the victim so well in my head ❜

❛ every night, i wake up from this one recurring dream ❜

❛ i read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control ❜

❛ i tell someone i love them just as a distraction ❜

❛ they tell me that they love me like i'm some tourist attraction ❜

❛ i got the things i wanted, it's just not what i imagined ❜

❛ i'm counting all of the beautiful things i regret ❜

❛ i'm pulling the sheets over my head ❜

❛ you're so good at what you do ❜

❛ you come for me like a savior ❜

❛ i'd put myself through hell for you ❜

❛ i fell for you like water ❜

❛ i couldn't get out if i tried ❜

❛ it was all in my mind ❜

❛ now you got me thinking ❜

❛ love is never logical ❜

❛ all the things you did to me ❜

❛ you lied ❜

❛ i'm sure that girl is really your friend ❜

❛ you said i was too soft ❜

❛ why do I do this? ❜

❛ i know i'm half responsible and that makes me feel horrible ❜

❛ i know i could've stopped it all, god, why didn't i stop it all? ❜

❛ i met a guy in the summer and i left him in the spring ❜

❛ i wanna make him feel bad ❜

❛ i wanna make him really jealous ❜

❛ i really miss him and it makes me real sad ❜

❛ i want sweet revenge ❜

❛ i want him again ❜

❛ i want to get him back ❜

❛ i write him all these letters, then i throw them in the trash ❜

❛ i miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh ❜

❛ he said i was the only girl, but that just wasn't the truth ❜

❛ i am my father's daughter, so maybe i could fix him ❜

❛ i wanna key his car ❜

❛ i wanna break his heart ❜

❛ he's not even gonna know what hit him ❜

❛ he's gonna love me and hate me at the same time ❜

❛ i don't know ❜

❛ i told my friends you were the one ❜

❛ i stayed in bed for like a week ❜

❛ when you said space was what you need, i waited by my phone like a goddamn fool ❜

❛ love's fucking embarrassing ❜

❛ how could i be so stupid? ❜

❛ you found a new version of me ❜

❛ what was i even doing? ❜

❛ i give up ❜

❛ i give up everything ❜

❛ i keep coming back for more ❜

❛ i have nightmares each week about that friday ❜

❛ one phone call from you and my entire world was changed ❜

❛ you took everything i loved and crushed it in between your fingers ❜

❛ i doubt you ever think about the damage that you did ❜

❛ i hold on to every detail like my life depends on it ❜

❛ i hear your voice every time that i think i'm not enough ❜

❛ i try to be tough, but i wanna scream ❜

❛ how could anybody do the things you did so easily? ❜

❛ i say i don't care, i say that i'm fine but you know i can't let it go ❜

❛ i've tried for so long ❜

❛ it takes strength to forgive, but i don't feel strong ❜

❛ i try to understand why you would do this all to me ❜

❛ i know in my heart hurt people hurt people ❜

❛ do you think i deserved it all? ❜

❛ you built me up to watch me fall ❜

❛ you have everything and you still want more ❜

❛ even after all this, you're still everything to me ❜

❛ i know you don't care ❜

❛ there's always something missing ❜

❛ when pretty isn't pretty enough what do you do? ❜

❛ i could change up my body and change up my face ❜

❛ i'd always feel the same ❜

❛ you can win the battle but you'll never win the war ❜

❛ fix the things you hated and you'd still feel so insecure ❜

❛ i try to ignore it, but it's everything i see ❜

❛ i don't know why i even try ❜

❛ i bought all the clothes that they told me to buy ❜

❛ i chased some dumb ideal my whole fucking life ❜

❛ none of it matters and none of it ends ❜

❛ you just feel like shit over and over again ❜

❛ when am i gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise? ❜

❛ when am i gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys? ❜

❛ when will it stop being cool to be quietly misunderstood? ❜

❛ i'm sorry that i couldn't always be your teenage dream ❜

❛ when does wide-eyed affection and all good intentions start to not be enough? ❜

❛ will i spend all the rest of my years wishing i could go back? ❜

❛ they all say that it gets better ❜

❛ it gets better the more you grow ❜

❛ it gets better, but what if i don't? ❜

[crystlizabeth]

Dangerously Yours.

Paring: Carl Grimes x Blackfem!Smith!Reader

Paring: Negan Smith & BlackDaughter!Reader

Summary: You two where enemies, but there was just something that drew you two each other, but a war was in the making.

Warning: cursing, mentions of childhood trauma and abuse.

A/n: Carl lives au!! And im gonna add some songs that came out not during TWD time like or after 2013 i think! This is kinda of a self insert, This might be multiple parts, I noticed its turned into a Negan Smith x Daughter reader along with Carl x reader so enjoy.

The first time you met him he caught an additude with you trying to take some batteries out of your hand, it didn’t go well for him you grabbed his wrist twisting it telling him to fuck off. There were more instances when you would go and he somehow always pissed you off but it made sense you and Carl Grimes where enemies. So where your fathers you didn’t quite know what had all happed but you did know people died, some of your people and a few of his.

Now you where on your way back to Alexandria for a pick up you went along this time to see Eden, she was a decent girl but also a girl your age it wad hard to find friends in this day in age. Eden was closed of and was always followed by the one and only one eyed grimes, but that didn’t stop you from trying to get to know her and one of those ways was music, may it be mp3, cds or even vinyls.

“I found this mix tape a while back, its a costume one and actually really good music.” You said to Eden as you walked with her towards the supply house.

“Any songs you can recognize?” She asked taking the tape from your hand.

“Not really only a few like, Elvis, Hozier, Taylor swift, i hear alot of her music in the mixes i find.” You ended with a small laugh.

“I like Taylors music, Elvis’s pretty good to” she said with a small smile.

You two shared similar music taste even rap, you two enter the supply room running into Negan, Rick, Carl and a gal with glasses.

“Lookie here, making friends are we?” Your dad asked his usual grin on his face.

“Yeah you could say just trading some music but i need some batteries.” You said shrugging your shoulders.

Rick moved out of the way as the lady with glasses handed you 4 batteries “I only need two don’t worry about it. Unless,” you look over at Eden., “you need any?” She shook her head you nodded and handed two of the batteries back to her.

“Thank you..” you spoke lightly waiting for her name.

“Oh, its Olivia.” She said she voice shaken.

“Well thank you Olivia.” You said then turning to your dad.

“Not giving her a hard time are you?”

Negan raised his eyebrow giving you a cheeky grin “Not at all this time they actually have there shit in order.” He spoke wiggling around the list in his hand.

Nodding you left with Eden heading back to the truck with Carl running behind you two.

“Eden where are you going?” He asked.

She held the bag up in her hand that was filled with music “Trading music.” She answered simply.

He didnt say anything but continued to follow you two, you could feel his eyes burning you in the back of your head he watched every move you made.

You and Eden had gone through a crate you brought she had taken out a few albums and surprise mix tapes you liked to call them. She took ‘I love you.’ The neighborhood, ‘Anti’ Rhianna, ‘AM’ arctic monkeys and ‘Lungs’ Florance and the machine. You didn’t take any from her she didn’t have many good options so you just lended them to her.

“Really you want nothing back.” Carl voiced from behind you.

Giving him a glare “yeah theres no reason for me to take what little music she has, what are you even doing here doing you had somthing better to do cyclops.”

He glared at you “good to know your an asshole like your dad.” He spat back, he didnt appreciate the nickname but you weren’t a fan when he called you a bitch last week so your really didn’t give two shits.

“At least my dad doesn’t stand around like a bitch between his legs last time I checked you did the dirty work.” You said walking past him.

He turned to say something only for his dad to stop him. You only scoffed turning away.

A few weeks later you saw him again but this time he came by one of the trucks, he shot a few of your fathers men. When that whole mess was cleaned up Laura came and got you saying ‘your dad needs your help.’

You walked down the hall meeting Your Dad, Carl and Daryl out side on the little balcony. Carl didn’t have his bandage on this time covering his eye, Carl put his head was down after meeting your eyes.

“Whats up?” You asked.

Negan smiled “I need a favor Sweetheart, Carl here needs a little tour but i need to fix some shit the he fucked up. Keep and eye on him yeah?” He spoke looking at Carl.

“Sure just us or..?”

“Just you two, get to know each other and dont kill him, I for one actually like him unlike you.” He said laughing a little knowing the tension between you both.

“If he keeps the attitude to a minimum.. personally not a fan of it unlike you.” You say crossing your arms moving more of you weight to one side of your body.

With that they left leaving you and Carl by the railing watching over the workers, a few kids running around playing with one another.

“Is he actually your dad?” Carl asked breaking the silence. You weren’t surprised why he asked you, you two didn’t look alike and many obvious aspects.

You looked at him, his eye focused on you looking you up and down and searching for any kind of reaction. You watched as his eyes finally met yours again.

“No..” you said admitting it to him.

He tilted his head a little as a way of say ‘What’.

“He found me at the beginning of this, what about 3 years ago? Put it simply my biological father left me to fend for myself, fucked up right?” You said walking towards a stair way sitting down on the steps.

Carl stared down at you, looking up at him through your curls letting a laugh out from the look if his face.

“Are you serious..” he asked sitting down with you.

You looked over at him, “Yeah but my father had never actually been a good person. He was far from a good parent. He was a selfish, abusive man, he wasn’t fit for kids non the less 3 girls.”

Carl seemed interested. “You have Sisters?”

“Had.”

“Oh, sorry I didn’t know.” He said.

You leaned back on the stairs “Why would you? We aint friends.”

He nodded turning his head looking straight. He seemed vulnerable almost. But so where you you just opened up, trauma dumped to some guy you haven’t been able to stand for months. But in that moment there was a kind if peace and understanding.

“Why did you stick around after knowing all the bad things he’s done?” Carl asked looking back at you.

“All the bad.. nobody is good or bad. Especially in this, it survival.” You scoffed, he tried to makes his people out to be what they weren’t.

“He killed good people, friends, one of them had a kid on the way!”

You looked at him your eyes nerow slightly “Your little group took out an whole outpost of more than 50 people. Many of them had family and one of the women there was carrying a child.” You spoke sharply.

“Your people, your friends aren’t so clean of blood. Nor are you.” You finished harshly.

He did say anything else. Only looked back at his hands fidgeting with them in irritation.

He knew you where right, but he also knew you weren’t clean of blood either nobody was. There is no good or bad anymore just survivors.

You both eventually got up and you showed him around. How things work, people had jobs they earned money and they got what they need. That this was our normal, even you worked did chores to earn your keep.

You two continued to talk to each other, getting to know each other you never talked about either of your peoples. There was a spark for only knowing him and hating him for the past few months he understood you. They way his eyes lingered on you as you talked how he took in every word you where saying. What was that feeling that lingered as he left the feeling of wanting to see him again.

As weeks went by you two spoke over walkies, nit the safest options but it worked. You hadn’t let anyone this close since Negan, funny how you wanted nothing to do with this boy but now you did. He made you laugh over stupid things, gave you good advice as you did with him. He heard you cry for the first time, you even snuck out to see him one time showing him a little abandoned house by the river it was the first time in long time you both had fun.

He was feeling it two, his heart fluttered at the way you smiled, how he always held eye contact taking in the sight of you as it may be the last. You did the same but he never caught you looking at him like the way he did you. The hard truth you knew was that you two are enemies, maybe not you two but your Dads, your people.

But then shit hit the fan.

You didn’t get trapped in a sanctuary when they attacked the place, you watched as the walkers surrounded the building the echos of gun shots rang through your ears as you watched in horror as rick started to shot him down.

The only thing you could do is try and reach a different outpost. Warn them, but then you where caught.

He didn’t look familiar which scared you even more, you quicky grabbed your knife cutting his arm. He let go of you making you fall back only for someone else to grab you.

“The little bitch cut me!” The one man yelled you turned around quickly ready to strike again thats when you saw Rick and Daryl.

Your heart dropped, you where surrounded. Rick took a step toward you his hands visible “Dont Fucking come near me!” You yelled.

Rick put is gun down on the ground “Relax I don’t wanna hurt you.” His voice was calm.

“Then fuck off!”

“Where are you gonna go.” Daryl spoke.

You eyes shot over to him, you didn’t answer him. He was right though where were you gonna go, to an outpost you didn’t even know where it was at.

“Y/n we just wanna help you. I told Carl you wouldn’t get hurt.” Rick said.

Why would that matter?

“Please. Just come with us.”

You just looked at him, dumfounded.

Was it stupid yes, but you went with them handing over your weapons and walked to the gates. As they open they looks you got looks of horror from them. Rick pulled on my arm slightly letting go when I flinched. He took me into a house there sat a few people talking about what to do next.

But the all stop once their eyes landed on me.

“Sit.” Daryl said pointing at the couch his tone serious.

You where scared what did they want with you what was their plan, why where you not dead, locked up. You picked at your finger s peeling the skin off them drowning out everything around you. What the fuck is happening.

A hand fell on both of your hands you quickly looking up you saw him. His face filled with concern, he spoke but you never heard what he said the way he brows frowned trying to reach you. You began to break as both of his hand touched your arms squeezing them slightly wanting and answering out of you.

“Why am I here...” your voice tender and cracked.

“I..” Carl started but never finished he just looked at you.

“Why the hell am I here.” You asked again.

He took a deep breath “Help us end this.”

You stared at him, help them, help them. Why would you help them.

“Get away from me… Get AWAY.” You shouted pushing him away.

He stood back as you stood up, your hands gripping harshly on your hair.

“Your fucking kidding me right?! What makes you think I would help you, help these people! You know how crazy you sound.” You slightly laugh the frustration in your voice very clear. These people wanted your help. They just destroyed the only place you called home.

“Please Y/n, please.. hear us out.” Carl said.

“Your acting a fool, you just attacked my people, my home! Theres more than just Negan in there theres kids! Family, old people! What the fuck is wrong with you guys!” You yelled. “And- and you know that.. you saw it, so did he!” You finished pointing at Daryl.

They all knew that.

“What makes you think you can trust me anyway? What it your head makes you think I wouldn’t betray you.” You said your arms falling to your sides.

“Because your the one that let me out of that cell, made sure I had a clear way out.” Daryl spoke up.

You looked at him, he knew.

“And I trust you.” Carl said. “They may not but you help out friend and you’ve earned my trust, my respect.”

You shook your head, you wanted to cry, to cry like a little kid. Carl came to you again slowly pulling you in for a slight hug. Something sincere he cared for you he may have only truly known your for few weeks but he wanted you safe but with that came a cost. The talks over that walkie you had with him you could careless who herd them. Carl had fallen for a girl who he couldn’t have with out a cost.

“Y/n your something to believe In again, you could change things. Help your people.” Rick spoke.

You wanted to help your people, they deserved it they deserved to be safe. To have a life beyond the sanctuary. Alexandria was a safe place but so was your home they where good people in there people who don’t know how to protect themselves.

“But you’ll have to go behind, Negan. Lie to him.” Michonne finished.

Your head snaped at her, “I cant, i… i wont! I’ll just lie to you tell him your plans.” You said trying to get them to not believe you.

“If you do you’ll only hurt yourself…”

For my people.. but the cost was to betray a man who would do anything for you. You caught Carls eye he gave you a pleading look. He practically begged you with that look, betray your Dad for a boy.. for a boy and peace between people.

“If i betray you, I hurt myself.. if i betray my people, my family, I betray my dad, my dad is very important to me..”

“More important than your people and peace dont you want more for those family’s. For us.” Carl said, him whispering the last part only for you to hear.

For us..

You wanted that more than anything..

“Okay..”

So you helped them, you got back in through a old drain the led into the basement, you knew people would have noticed you where gone or maybe not.

When you saw Simon and Dwight they nodded at you figured you where out hidden in your room. Stupid men.

But you also knew Dwight was working with them as well, he was a traitor too.

Days had passed they finally cleared the walkers out. The plan was to attack hilltop but there was a twist, Negan on the other hand didn’t want you to have any part of it he stated “I need you here, with out people.” So you stayed.

You stayed back with your people started cleaning up putting things back together, when they came back your dad wasn’t to be seen.

“Wheres my dad?” You asked walking up to simon, he shared a look with Dwight looking back at you.

“Someone ran him off the road, all we found was blood when we finally found his car…” Simon said his tone quiet.

All you could do was stare at him “what.. is he.”

They nodded, the two men shared a look again.

Something isn’t right. They’re lying, they gotta be he couldn’t just be killed that easily.

After that Simon took charge, he seemed pleased with himself it was sickening. He bossed everyone around hell even threatened you that if you didn’t keep your mouth shut there would be ‘consequences’. It was just crazy to you, how easily he forgot his place.

But even now you had a job. So you did it you told them what happened leaving a note in the woods for them to find.

When you got back, There stood Negan. He turned to look at you giving you a smile.

“Hiya Sweetheart, how ya been.” His voice sweet giving you a hug.

“They said you where dead.” You said in a whisper only for him to hear.

He nodded looking at you back to Simon who was staring you down. You already knew he was fucked but lets make it worse, not here though. Negan wanted to talk anyway.

You sat on the couch in his room waiting for him, he startled you out of your trace as he placed his hand on the side if your head kissing you on the top of the head.

“Now tell me what the shit has he all done..?” He asked coming around sitting next to you.

“He pretty much took over your place bossing people around, and that attack on hilltop went south from what I heard, oh! He also threatened me” you said.

He turned his head to look at me. “ Do I dare ask what he said..” his voice went dark the look he held could kill.

You told him you may have exaggerated it a bit but you could careless the son of a bitch deserved it. His actions has consequences.

After that conversation you just sat there with him your head laying on his shoulder your arms wrapped around his arm.

“Im sorry..” you spoke softly, you could feel your throat swell up as you hold back tears.

“Its not your fault, Princess..” its been a minute since he’s called you princess, hell you where. You may not be his blood but your the only child he’s ever had, you where his daughter, his little girl.

The day finally came, but you weren’t standing with them you stood with Carl not your Father. The sound of that familiar call rang through your ears as everyone raised there gun.

“Well damn Rick, lookie here.” Negans voice echoed through a radio.

“Pegged again, pegged so very hard.”

Everyone moved around looking for them “ I ambushed your ambush with an even bigger ambush.” You could hear a slight chuckle after.

“Why don’t you step out and face us!” Rick yelled out as he looked around looking for any kind of movement.

“Oh I am everywhere Rick.” He said.

You closed your eyes settling your breath you felt a hand on your back, opening your eyes looking to you left you saw carl. He gave you a nod trying to give you some kind of comfort. You could hear Negan he went on talking about Eugene and Dwight, going to to Gabriel. Then he said your name.

“Where is my daughter because I would love to know. Kind fucked up how your little psycho of a son came in one day and now my daughter is gone. You happen to know anything about that.” His voice was serious, you had been gone since yesterday.

Rick looked back at you, you shook your head telling him not to say a word.

“But here we go, congratulations Rick.” Was the last thing he said before he started a count down.

They came out starting to fire only for their weapons to back fire on them.

Every thing happend to fast.

Soon enough they had surrendered, the saviors where on their knees hands in the air. Rick and Negan ran off, you looked around for them Carl and Rosita following behind me a little.

You finally got up to the hill you saw them standing in-front of each other talking, Negans face fell looking like he was going to cry at what Rick said. For a moment they stood there. Then it happened.

“NO!” You screamed, you went to run towards them only for Rosita to grab you holding you tightly.

“NO YOU LIER! YOU SAID YOU WERNT GONNA KILL HIM!” You Sobbed, struggling against Rosita and she tried calming you down.

“You fucking Lier! Please he’s all i have, please.” You begged your body slightly collapsing in Rositas Arms Carl came in front of you helping Rosita turn you so you did have to see him bleed out.

“You fucking people lied. I trusted you.” You cried.

“I didn’t know, Y/n I didn’t know.” Carl said his hands cupping your face making you looks at him.

Your sobs continue, As you fell into his arms. Rosita let go of you only staying behind you. The only thing in the field you could hear was you sobbing, Carls gentle tone trying to calm you. His hand gently rubbing your back, your hands covered your face your head resting on Carls shoulder.

“Save him.”

You pushed of Carls shoulder looking up. The widow started to do the same thing you had just done, Michonne holding her back as she yelled at rick, begging him to keep Negan dead.

“We have to make it right.” Maggie sobbed.

A year had now passed, you hadn’t been able to see Negan they wouldn’t let you. But what they did do it tell him that you had helped them, not by much but you did.

“Why would they do that..” you asked, Carl looked up at you.

“In not sure.. ask my dad why he did.” He said, you only glared at him.

“Common babe, you cant hold that anger with him forever especially that your my girlfriend.” He laughed slightly standing up from the step turning to you pulling you up.

“Its called a grunge, and yeah I can. They go on telling Negan i betrayed him and i don’t even get to explain my self to him.” You spoke the irritation in your voice quite visible.

Carl sighed, “I know Y/n..” he pulled you in by your hands.

“Talk to Michonne, you like her at lest.” Carl said giving you a kiss.

So you where gonna do just that but first you had to find her. When you did she was with Judith on the porch Rosita with her. Rosita gave you a smile as she left.

Michonne looked at you giving you a small smile “Hi Y/n how are you?” She said.

“Im fine but i have a question.” You spoke, she nodded letting you continue.

“Why wont you let me see him” befor she could speek you cut her off “I know i ask this way to often but you told him everything i could attest give him an exclamation, you just letting him believe that what i did was for the worst, so please. Wouldn’t you want Carl to tell you if that had happened to him not just to stay quiet and believe he did it to hurt you.” You finished.

Michonne signed “You’ll have five minutes.”

Your face light up “Thank you, Thank you!”

She grabbed Judith giving her to a friend as she walked you to the basement, Carl and Rosita followed you two and you walked down the stairs she told you to wait.

“You have a Visitor.” She said before waving you in.

It was dark but you could see him, and he looked like shit. “Five minutes.” Michonne said walking over to the door keeping it open but she walked up them.

The silence between you two lingered for a minute, after all that begging you couldn’t get your self to say anything but when he did your heart dropped.

“Well kid, hows your new life, boyfriend, freedoms.” He said harshly.

“I-its fine, can I explain..” you said.

He stood up moving to the bars looking at you. “What that you stabbed me in the back yeah I got that.”

“Dont be a dick-”

“Really your gonna call me the dick?” He scoffed.

“I never meant you any harm i wanted what was best for our people.” You said softly.

He didn’t say anything, his eyes never left you but he was mad and he had every right to be. You had all of his trust, he would’ve done anything for you and you betrayed him. Everything he had done for you was thrown out the window after that stunt those 4 years were practically all for nothing.

“I know your mad at me and you have every right to be, I just wanted our people to see more the kids in the sanctuary to have more of a life beyond that, here those kids have a playground more people to become friends with.” You said, you watched as he turned around midway through you talking, he didn’t want to look at you.

You took a breath in bitting your lip to stop you self from crying, you crossed your arms holding your self in a hug.

“I haven’t seen you in a year man common say something, yell at me something anything.” You spoke in a whimper your lip trembling.

Nothing.

“Please don’t hate me.” Your tears fell down your cheeks.

“Your all i have left to family, I never thought I would call someone dad again let alone a man that actually cared for me..” you cried out your head falling down looking that the floor.

The tears continue to fall down your face making your cheeks glisten. He was your dad, maybe it was a cycle with you to make them hate you at some point.

“I don’t hate you, I don’t think I could ever bring myself to hate you.” He said quietly not turning around.

“Then why wont you look at me..” you asked not even sure if you wanted to know the answer.

He sighed deeply turning around “That better?”

You nodded not sure what to say next, things may never be the same again but you do know that is he doesn’t hate you, you didn’t have to worry about the fear of him never wanting to see you again.

[bassettmemes]

A GUTS ASK MEME ISN'T A BAD IDEA, RIGHT? prompts from olivia rodrigo's sophomore album, guts (2023) — part 1/2. ↳ trigger warnings for mentions of alcohol, drugs, grooming, abusive relationships (mental/emotion, not physical), and car wrecks. some lines have been edited or omitted for clarity and comfort.

ALL-AMERICAN BITCH.

"I am light as a feather and as stiff as a board."

"I pay attention to things that most people ignore."

"I'm alright with the movies that make jokes 'bout senseless cruelty."

"I am built like a mother and a total machine."

"I feel for your every little issue, I know just what you mean."

"I make light of the darkness; I've got sun in my motherfuckin' pocket."

"I forgive and I forget."

"I know my age and I act like it."

"I got what you can't resist."

"I am light as a feather, I'm as fresh as the air."

"Coca-Cola bottles that I only use to curl my hair."

"I got class and integrity just like a goddamn Kennedy, I swear."

"I'm a perfect all-American bitch, with perfect all-American lips, and perfect all-American hips."

"I know my place, I know my place and this is it."

"I don't get angry when I'm pissed, I'm the eternal optimist."

"I scream inside to deal with it, like, "Ah"."

"I'm grateful all the time. I'm sexy and I'm kind. I'm pretty when I cry."

BAD IDEA, RIGHT?

"Haven't heard from you in a couple of months, but I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up."

"You're callin' my phone, you're all alone, and I'm sensing some undertone."

"I'm right here with all my friends, you're sending me your new address."

"I know we're done, I know we're through, but God, when I look at you, my brain goes, "Ah". Can't hear my thoughts."

"Seeing you tonight... It's a bad idea, right?"

"Fuck it, it's fine."

"Yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?"

"I only see him as a friend... The biggest lie I ever said."

"I only see him as a friend... I just tripped and fell into his bed."

"Now I'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans."

"I know I should stop, but I can't."

"I told my friends I was asleep, but I never said where or in whose sheets."

"And I pull up to your place on the second floor

"I'm sure I've seen much hotter men, but I really can't remember when."

VAMPIRE.

"Hate to give the satisfaction asking how you're doing now."

"How's the castle built off people you pretend to care about."

"Look at you, cool guy, you got it."

"I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes."

"Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise."

"I loved you truly; you gotta laugh at the stupidity."

"I've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine."

"I should've known it was strange, you only come out at night."

"I used to think I was smart, but you made me look so naïve."

"You sunk your teeth into me."

"Bloodsucker, famefucker, bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire."

"Every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news."

"You called them crazy. God I hate the way I called them crazy too."

"You're so convincing. How do you lie without flinching?"

"What a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked up little thrill."

"Can't figure out just how you do it and God knows I never will."

"Went for me and not her, 'cause girls your age know better."

"You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard? You can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart."

"I tried to help you out, now I know that I can't, 'cause how you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand."

LACY.

"[Name], oh, [Name], skin like puff pastry."

"Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of Hell?"

"Dear angel [Name], eyes white as daisies, did I ever tell you that I'm not doin' well?"

"Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time."

"It takes over my life, I see you everywhere, the sweetest torture one could bear."

"Smart, sexy [Name], I'm losin' it lately. I feel your compliments like bullets on skin."

"Dazzling starlet, Bardot reincarnate, well, aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?"

"Like ribbons in your hair, my stomach's all in knots. You got the one thing that I want."

"I try to rationalize, people are people, but, it's like you're made of angel dust."

"[Name], oh, [Name], it's like you're out to get me. You poison every little thing that I do."

"[Name], oh, [Name], I just loathe you lately."

"I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you. I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you."

BALLAD OF A HOMESCHOOLED GIRL.

"Cat got my tongue, and I don't think I get along with anyone."

"I'm on the outside of the greatest inside joke."

"I hate all my clothes. Feels like my skin doesn't fit right over my bones."

"I guess I should go. The party's done, and I'm no fun."

"I broke a glass, I tripped and fell. I told secrets I shouldn't tell

"I stumbled over all my words. I made it weird, I made it worse."

"I laughed at the wrong time, sat with the wrong guy."

"Searchin' "how to start a conversation?" on a website, like, how to flirt?"

"The morning after I panic, oh God, what did I say?"

MAKING THE BED.

"Want it, so I got it, did it, so it's done."

"Another thing I ruined, I used to do for fun."

"Another piece of plastic I could just throw away."

"Another conversation with nothing good to say. I thought it, so I said it, took it 'cause I can."

"Another day pretendin' I'm older than I am."

"Another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine."

"Another thing I forced to be a sign."

"Sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am, gettin' drunk at a club with my fair-weather friends."

"I push away all the people who know me the best, but it's me who's been makin' the bed."

"I'm so tired of bein' the girl that I am."

"Every good thing has turned into somethin' I dread."

"I'm playin' the victim so well in my head."

"But it's me who's been makin' the bed."

"Sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am, countin' all of the beautiful things I regret."

"And every night, I wake up from this one recurrin' dream, where I'm drivin' through the city, and the brakes go out on me."

"I can't stop at the red light, can't swerve off the road, I read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control."

"I tell someone I love them just as a distraction; They tell me that they love me like I'm some tourist attraction."

"They're changin' my machinery, and I just let it happen."

"I got the things I wanted, it's just not what I imagined."

[witheredoffherwitch]

some hatred towards alysmond is coming from people with weird moral indignation i'm afraid. how do i know? cause in 9 out of 10 aemond×oc fics reader is soft, submissive, boring as hell and aemond is possessive, jealous and control freak. certain people will never like alys cause they can't relate to her. she is cunning, knows how to survive and make the best of it, and she is immediately labelled as dangerous seductive famme fatale. i don't care what they say, i knew for many years that really strong women don't put down those who clearly are confident and smart because they don't feel threatened by them. even if that's about the fictional character but you see those people can't tell a difference between real person and fictional character as they proved when telling olivia they hate her cause she plays a cunt and insulting gayle looks just because they expected eva green of katie mcgrath so they can get the confirmation she seduced him with her looks. sorry to disappoint you but even maesters noticed aemond in harrenhall didn't choose some younger ladies to bed but alys. they can't understand aemond fell in love because she was smart, witty, resourceful? maybe to him looks didn't matter but i dunno, something like personality? but they don't know what personality is so what to discuss here? now having oc with no personality bland as fuck is sign of genius. you know you can't write smart character with personality because then people won't self insert. they only can self insert into complete idiots. good to know they are impressed by someone nameless and faceless and personalityless. fools can only identify with fools.

not gonna lie helaemonds have a part of trashing alys cause they can't get over their disappointment she would be casted when they were sure alys would be cut cause her powers went to helaena. i have ss of their comments or posts so if they piss me off i would public it. they also can't comprehend why aemond would leave capital to begin with he was to fuck helaena during the war. huge bunch of helaemonds openly admitted they don't care about aemond, all they care about is helaena being with someone better than aegon. they don't understand aemond and his motives, they constantly trash aegon as worse than daemon and viserys combined so best to ignore them, their brains don't work anymore.

alys suffers from both teams cause both teams need a punching bag. tb does want every woman to uphold the patriarchy to just call them karens and they will be hugely disappointed because alys doesn't support the patriarchy so this argument works only with alicent and even helaena. tg is full of people with parasocial relationships with ewan and aemond as if any of them would ever have sex with them. they are jealous alys gets to have sex with him and they have to self insert into bland copy paste oc.

i feel really sorry for these writers who think writing alys as bad bitch will make their uninteresting self insert bland oc great or more shippable with aemond. how they are stuck in their black white thinking of the world when they write alys as smart, ambitious=bad bitch and oc naive, innocent, soft, submissive=great girlfriend material. it must be so boring to feel threatened by fictional character who isn't brainless like most of their ocs. so they need to cope by writing blushing virgin for aemond and that's how they convince themselves they'll find their aemond is real life. imagine how sad their life is!

Hi nonnie 🤗

This ask has been sitting in my inbox pile for ages; but fear not, I have finally unearthed it 😭

And honestly, there's not much to add - your words ring true and I couldn't agree more. Keep spilling that pipin' hot tea!

[noforkingclue]

Love to Hate and Hate to Love, Chapter 4 (River Cartwright x OC)

Whatever you think is happening in the chapter it isn't a date. Absolutely not.

Nope.

No fucking way.

Anyway, hope you like the chapter!

Slow Horses tag list: @cillmequick

Olivia looked down at her phone and sighed. It had just started to rain and the water was making it hard to use the screen. She wiped it on her coat jacket and looked around. She could’ve sworn that the restaurant was around her somewhere. It might’ve been several years since she had gone but she could still picture it. After all, it had been one of her favourite places as a student. She pulled her coat around her as she turned the corner and beamed.

Success!

She walked towards it, a spring in her step. Finally a fucking breakthrough. She looked through the menu with a fond smile. The place really hadn’t changed all that much had it?

“You seem fucking happy.”

And once again her good mood had gone. River slinked out of the shadows as Olivia turned to face him. She crossed her arms and said,

“Are you following me?”

“I wanted to know where you were going.”

“Wait, how long have you been following me?”

“Why? Couldn’t tell.”

He smirked at her and Olivia rolled her eyes. Yes, even she had heard the story about River tailing Taverner. If Second Desk couldn’t tell that River was on her then what hope did she have.

“Maybe I just wanted a bite to eat?” she said, “Is that a crime?”

“You spotted something in that photo.”

“Yeah. A dead fucking body.”

“Besides from that. What did you see?”

“And why should I tell you?”

“Because we’re meant to be working together on this.”

“Of course,” Olivia said, rolling her eyes, “and you think that by ‘helping’ it’ll get you back into The Park.”

“Good evening. Table for two?”

Olivia and River looked over sharply at the waiter who had just approached them. He gave them a bright, customer service smile but mentally Olivia was panicking. Fucking hell, how much had he overheard? It was a suspicious conversation they were having. Anyone in their right mind would probably be calling the police at the mention of dead bodies. However, River just wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her against him. She tensed under his touch but he gave her a brief squeeze. She did her best not to glare as he rubbed gentle circles against her hip. Unwittingly she relaxed under his touch.

“Yes please.”

And it clicked what the cunt was doing. Olivia looked up at him and hoped her expression was adoring enough. She could see a brief flash of surprise flitter across his eyes as she rested her head against his chest and said,

“Oh, taking me out to my favourite restaurant for my birthday. You shouldn’t have!”

Two can play at this game, Cartwright, she thought

When they were at their table looking through menus and a bottle of white wine promptly order, River said,

“I didn’t know today’s your birthday.”

“It isn’t,” said Olivia, “but now everyone is going to think it is and you’ll look like an uncaring dick if you make me split the bill. Hey, do you think we’ll get a free dessert?”

“I thought they only did that for proposals.”

“Hmm,” Olivia pretended to think for a second, “I’m not that desperate to get married to you, fake or not. Anyway, I won’t be paying for it so…”

She shrugged and grinned at him,

“Thanks for the meal, honey.”

“You’re welcome, dear.”

The waiter came over for their orders and River kept his face neutral when Olivia put hers in. When the waiter went away he hissed,

“Did you have to order a steak?”

“Why? Because you’re not meant to have white wine with red meat? Of course you’d be pretentious enough to nitpick about that.”

“No,” River sounded exasperated, “because it’s expensive.”

“Why can’t I order one? It’s my birthday.”

“No it fucking isn’t.”

“Fine. I just wanted a steak because I wanted to have a steak knife. It might come in handy if you continue to piss me off.”

“Yeah, like you’d ever use it. You’ve never actually killed anyone have you?”

“Don’t say that like it’s a bad thing.”

River looked up sharply from his drink at the tone of Olivia’s voice. She wasn’t looking at him, running her thumb up and down the stem of her wine glass. She grimaced and looked around the restaurant. Other people having a seemingly normal night out.

“You know that’ll change.”

Olivia glanced over at River. The harshness of his gaze had gone and he was looking at his hands. He briefly glanced up at Olivia before looking away again.

“It’s the nature of our job.” he said

“You sound like Fitz. Besides, don’t you mean my job and not yours.” Olivia said, although it lacked its usual bite.

The conversation was interrupted by their food coming and Olivia was relieved about that. She didn’t like this understanding version of Cartwright. She preferred the snipey version of him. She could understand him better when he was like that. She didn’t want to like him, although she could pass that off as the alcohol talking. She never knew that Cartwright could be semi-tolerable when he wasn’t trying to constantly prove himself to people who didn’t give a fuck.

“You know,” said River eventually, leaning back in his chair and grinning at her as he poked at his pasta, “I’m beginning to think that this was all a ploy to get me to take you out for dinner. Surely you must’ve suspected that you’d be tailed?”

“You fucking serious?” any alcohol induced reluctant feelings vanished and Olivia said, “A) you followed me here. B) you told the waiter that we’d be taking the table. Finally C) I have much better things to do than to go out for dinner with you.”

“You’re right, that’s giving you way too much credit. You didn’t even realise I was following you until I spoke to you.”

“You know what I think it is?”

Olivia steepled her fingers and leant closer. River copied her movements, leaning in close.

“I think you can’t stand the fact that I have absolutely no desire to fuck you,” she said quietly, “been a while for you, Cartwright? I can imagine that being stuck in Slough House hasn’t exactly done much for your dating profile.”

River’s eyes twitched slightly and his gaze dropped briefly down to her lips and he prayed that she hadn’t noticed. However, Olivia had turned her attention back to her meal. She stabbed her steak violently and

“You got us off topic,” said River reaching across and stealing a chip, “why here?”

“Oi, those are mine!” Olivia said, “and like I said- maybe I just wanted a nice meal?”

She stabbed a bit of River’s pasta with her fork and ate it before he had time to protest. She closed her eyes and slumped back in her seat at the taste.

“Fuck me,” she muttered, “that’s good. I forgot just how good it was here.”

“Been before.”

“Used to go regularly back when I was a student.”

“I thought you went to Oxford.”

“And that meant I couldn’t have nights out in London? And what about you, I thought you said that we shouldn’t be discussing work out in public and yet,” she gestured between them, “here we are.”

River rolled his eyes and tried to steal another chip. Anticipating this Olivia slapped his hand away. With meals now finished Olivia stood up and excuse herself. Yes she did need to use the toilet but she also needed to get away from Cartwright. There was only so much time she could spend with him before she went mad. When she came back the plates were cleared away, another bottle of wine on the table and their wine glasses refilled and River had that stupid smirk on his face. However, it didn’t take her long to figure out what he had done.

“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you!”

Well,  it turned out the restaurant did do birthday desserts and yes, they were free.

Bastard.

At least the cake was good although unfortunately they did have to share.

*

“Was that free dessert really worth humiliating me?” asked Olivia

“Yes. Eased up the bill a bit.”

“Bastard.”

Olivia buttoned up her coat as the two of them left the restaurant. Luckily the rain had stopped by the time they finished their meal. They walked in an increasingly comfortable silence but Olivia could sense the underlying tension. The wine was slowly leaving their system and Olivia was remembering that she was meant to hate River.

“So, where to now?” asked River

“What?” said Olivia, “your place or mine?”

“That isn’t-”

“I know,” she sighed and ran a hand over her face, “look, let’s just head back to mine, alright? It’s closer. You did pay for dinner and it’s the least I could do.”

River paused for a second and raised his eyebrows at her.

“I didn’t know-”

“No,” Olivia said firmly, her face bright red, “I didn’t mean sex. Why anyone would want to fuck you I have no idea. I meant,” she sighed and looked away, “the least I could do is let you know about why I went here in the first place.”

“Why?”

“Well unless you don’t want the information. I’ll be more than happy to-”

“I didn’t say that.”

When the two finally got to Olivia’s flat she grabbed another bottle of wine and pulled out two glasses. River had occupied his time by looking around her living room. He raised his eyebrows at the trophy on her mantel piece. Next to it was a photo of Olivia in fencing gear. Under one arm was her fencing helmet and the other held a sword. She was grinning widely at the camera

“Do you mind not touching that?” Olivia asked as she entered the room, “Look but don’t touch.”

“I didn’t know you fenced.” River replied

“I learnt at uni,” she said, “And there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Cartwright.”

“Such as?”

“I’m sorry but at the moment we are not close enough for me to tell you anything else.”

River pointed at the photo and said,

“You look like a wanker in that.”

“Yeah, thanks,” she said rolling her eyes, “that was after a match with Cambridge. Fucking won that, thank you very much. Now sit down and stop judging my hobby.”

“Why fencing?”

“Hmm?”

Olivia spun on her heel so she was once again facing River. He looked back at the photo then at her.

“Guns are useful,” River continued, “nowadays what use are swords?”

“It’s a sport,” said Olivia walking closer towards him, “it’s fun, it’s elegant. I’m not doing it to kill someone, I don’t want to kill anybody despite you constantly pissing me off. But it’s exhilarating. To get so close to someone, to know that you could hurt them and yet you’re not able to. We have rules to follow.”

By now she was directly in front of River. He was looking down at her with a mixture of curiosity and something else which she couldn’t quite place. The smile slowly slipped off her face as she looked into his eyes. Fuck, she was too close and slightly too drunk. Instead she tapped him on the chest with the wine bottle.

“Another drink?” she asked, hoping that it would remove some of this unwanted tension. 

River nodded and she started to walk towards the sofa. Olivia sat down on her sofa and filled up the glasses and gestured to River to take one. Yeah, they probably already had enough to drink but being drunk around River made Olivia less likely to want to smack him.

“So,” said River at last, “why there.”

“Surely you already know,” said Olivia as she settled onto the sofa, “you are a Cartwright after all. Or has being in Slough House dulled your keen powers of observation.”

Maybe it was the wine talking but there was less venom in Olivia’s words. River sat down on the sofa, making sure to leave a reasonable amount of space between them. He narrowed his eyes at her as he looked down at his glass.

“I haven’t poisoned it,” Olivia said, “zero body count remember which I hope to keep, by the way.”

River smirked at the double meaning and Olivia rolled her eyes. Maybe it had been a while for him if he had sex on the brain that much.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Olivia took a sip of her own, “see?”

“Alright.”

“So are you going to tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“If you followed me or worked it out for yourself?” Olivia said, rolling her eyes, “I’m really beginning to think you are fucking deaf.”

“Ah, no, because you told me that you were going to tell me that.”

Olivia frowned as she tried to untangle River’s sentence. The alcohol was beginning to go to her head and she was thankful that it was a Friday. Eventually she said,

“Fine. It had been raining and there was a reflection in the reflection in the puddle. I thought I recognised the restaurant name and,” Olivia shrugged, “it was a lead that went nowhere. Nothing. No signs of gore or murder or police or anyone asking questions. Like if you knew there was a horrific murder committed relatively recently wouldn’t you expect something?”

“Yeah,” said River, “although you know what this shows?”

“People are now bored of murder?”

“What? No. Wait, were people ever really interested in it to begin with?”

“Yeah. You should hear some of the true crime stuff Kara makes us listen to. Sometimes I think she listens to them to get inspiration.”

“But you really don’t see it?”

“Umm no.”

“See,” River sighed, “this is what happens when The Park send fucking amateurs. You really have no fucking clue, do you?”

Olivia blinked at the tone of River’s voice. Just when she thought things were finally improving between the two of them, however small that might be.

“You’re one to talk,” she snapped, “still can’t get over the fact that you’re not as good as you think you are. You know this won’t get you back into The Park.”

“And yet you can’t see the obvious.”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

“Well you fucking started it.”

Olivia clicked her tongue and shook her head. Fucking unbelievable.

“No I didn’t.” she snapped

“Yes you did.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes you did.”

“No I- fucking hell. Maybe it’s best you leave.”

“Fine.”

River stood up, leaving his half finished glass of wine on the table. Olivia led him towards the front door and practically pushed him out. Just before he left he turned around and bent down, noses almost touching. He licked his lips and once again his gaze dropped to her lips. When he once again locked gazes with her, his eyes had gone dark. He was breathing heavily but Olivia was determined to stand her ground.

She wasn’t going to let him intimidate her.

“Try and work it out by yourself,” Olivia felt her cheeks get hot and his breath fanned over her face, “but don’t come begging to me when you can’t work it out.”

Olivia promptly slammed the door in his face and slid down to the ground. She took a large gulp of wine as she tried to work out what River was going on about. Yes, Cuntwright certainly suited him.

[fabledresources]

𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐆𝐔𝐓𝐒 ; part 1 of 4 total prompt collections pulled from olivia rodrigo's latest album, guts. some lyrics might have been tweaked just a bit so they flow better, but otherwise remain unchanged. feel free to adjust however necessary!

𝐀𝐋𝐋-𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇

i am light as a feather, i'm as stiff as a board.

i pay attention to things that most people ignore.

i'm alright with the movies that make jokes about senseless cruelty.

i am built like a mother and a total machine.

i feel for your every little issue.

i know just what you mean.

i make light of the darkness.

i've got sun in my motherfuckin' pocket, best believe.

i forgive, and i forget.

i know my age, and i act like it.

got what you can't resist.

i am light as a feather, i'm as fresh as the air.

coca-cola bottles that i only use to curl my hair.

i got class and integrity just like a goddamn kennedy.

i'm a perfect all-american bitch.

i know my place.

i know my place, and this is it.

i don't get angry when i'm pissed.

i'm the eternal optimist.

i scream inside to deal with it.

i'm grateful all the time

i'm sexy, and i'm kind.

i'm pretty when i cry.

𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀, 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓?

haven't heard from you in a couple of months.

i'm out right now and i'm all fucked up.

you're callin' my phone and you're all alone.

and i'm sensing some undertone.

i'm right here with all my friends.

you're sending me your new address.

i know we're done, i know we're through.

god, when i look at you…

can't hear my thoughts.

i should probably not.

seeing you tonight… it's a bad idea, right?

fuck it, it's fine.

yes, i know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

i only see him as a friend.

the biggest lie i ever said.

i only see him as a friend, i just tripped and fell into his bed.

i'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans.

i know i should stop... but i can't.

i told my friends i was asleep.

i never said where or in whose sheets.

i'm sure i've seen much hotter men, but i really can't remember when.

𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄

hate to give the satisfaction of asking how you're doing now.

how's the castle built off people you pretend to care about?

look at you, cool guy, you got it.

i see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when i close my eyes.

six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise.

i loved you truly.

you gotta laugh at the stupidity.

i've made some real big mistakes.

i've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine

i should've known it was strange.

you only come out at night.

i used to think i was smart.

you made me look so naive.

you sold me for parts.

you sunk your teeth into me.

bleedin' me dry like a goddamn vampire.

every girl i ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news

you called them crazy, god, i hate the way i called them crazy too.

you're so convincing.

how do you lie without flinching?

how do you lie?

what a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked up little thrill.

can't figure out just how you do it, and god knows i never will.

girls your age know better

you said it was true love.

you can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart.

i tried to help you out, now i know that i can't.

how you think's the kind of thing i'll never understand.

𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐘

aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?

did i ever tell you that i’m not doing well?

like perfume that you wear, i linger all the time.

it takes over my life, i see you everywhere.

the sweetest torture one could bear.

i'm losin’ it lately.

i feel your compliments likе bullets on skin.

well, aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist?

it's like you're out to get me.

you poison every little thing that i do.

i just loathe you lately.

i despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you.

i despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you.